What’s So Horrible About Trans Hormone Therapy?
Transgender Transitions: Reflections from the Other Side
You can’t hate someone whose story you know
— Margaret J. Wheatley
I am a transgender woman.
I completed my legal transition in August of 2021, and my medical transition in May of 2022. I am completely, physically, and legally a woman. The old man is dead.
This is a reflection on hormones and hormone replacement therapy.
Medical research shows that for the ‘properly counseled trans individual,’ when treated for properly diagnosed gender dysphoria, suicide rates drop, and the person lives a much happier, healthier, and more productive life.
So let’s discuss proper counseling.
The first thing I realized and fully accepted was that transitioning is a “package deal.”
I traded all the medical and social risks of living as a male for all the medical and social risks of living as a female. I traded common male benefits such as male privilege for being on the short end of sexism and misogyny. I traded a relatively minimal risk of developing breast cancer for the same risk of developing breast cancer as a cis woman has. My risk of being the victim of rape jumped to the same risk of any cis woman. I gave up body strength. I gave up status in our patriarchal society.
I understand, and understood, the good and bad of living as a female. I feel I was ‘properly counseled’ and fully understand the choices I was making for my life were a package and permanent!
I started my hormone therapy on December 2nd, 2018. On December 24th, 2018 after cantoring a Christmas Eve Mass and a Midnight Mass, I received the greatest Christmas gift of my entire life. About two in the morning, before going to bed, I sat down on our living room sofa for a moment of relaxation. In that moment I realized that for the first time in my life I was at peace with myself. The anger that was always just under the surface, the chip on my shoulder that I always carried, were gone. (And yes I had to get up to Cantor the 10:00 AM Christmas Day Mass.)
At that point, with peace finally in my heart, after 3 weeks on hormone replacement therapy, I knew I would be completing a transition from male to female.
Three weeks of hormones confirmed I was on the right path for myself.
Three weeks of hormones were not enough to make permanent changes to my body; however, it was enough to bring peace to my heart and mind.
Fast forward two and a half years.
There a two main components to male-to-female hormone therapy. The first is the introduction of estrogen or what is clinically known as Estradiol. The second is the introduction of a testosterone suppressant or anti-androgen. The introduction of the Estradiol has next to no side effects other than breast growth and body fat redistribution. (Desirable from my perspective.) The introduction of the anti-androgen is usually what the body, especially the kidneys, can object to. Spironolactone, the anti-androgen I was taking, slowly took its toll on my kidney function.
After two years on hormone therapy, my kidney labs weren’t looking as healthy as they had two years prior. So in consultation with my medical team, I decided the best solution was to eliminate the need for the Spironolactone by eliminating my testicles. After a COVID delay, that surgery happened in May 2020. (Remind me to share how I rewrote the lyrics to “Kansas City” as, Patty, my wife drove me to the hospital. It’s posted on Facebook somewhere in my ancient history…)
When testicles are removed, it is customary to biopsy them for any signs of cancer. My pathology report came back with no evidence of any cancerous tissue. It did however note my testicles that were ‘atrophied and aspermatic.’
I laughed.
At the age of 60 years, having already raised 3 daughters who have families of their own, the absolute last thing I wanted was to father another child! That problem was now completely solved.
I admit this does bring up one fact the transphobes harp on. Long term use of feminizing hormones on a male body leads to sterility. It’s part of the package deal trade-off I discussed at the top of this article. When I started my hormone therapy, I knew I would be rendered sterile. That was a choice I happily accepted to achieve my more major goal, which was and is to simply live what’s left of my life at peace with myself.
So here is where I’m getting on my high horse:
To all the transphobic politicians who have never bothered to talk to a transgender person or an endocrinologist, who don’t have a clue about what they are talking about when it comes to medical care for transgender youth — or care transgender adults under age 26 as Oklahoma has proposed to criminalize. Stop legislating out of willful ignorance, and caring not for who you intentionally hurt! You claim you are trying to protect people from medical malpractice, yet you never take the time to understand the truth.
It’s time to stop.
Oh, Oklahoma! If the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 26, maybe we should stop sending our 18 to 25 year olds to be slaughtered in our military? Or is it we know that 18 to 25 year old brains don’t understand the risks, which is why we do it? Surgery truth is that hormone replacement therapy was the right treatment for me. I’ll fight you to take that away from brothers and sisters no matter what age they are!
Please consider my story before your next legislative hearing to make it illegal for a healthcare provider to simply better enable me, and others, to live what’s left of our lives at peace with ourselves.
