When Did You Know You Were Gay?
The answer to everyone’s favorite question
If you’re queer, you’ve been here.
You’ve made a new straight friend. The two of you are starting to get closer — you’re not as thick as thieves, but you enjoy your time together.
Over a drink one evening after work, your new friend sits up straight, leans toward you, and says, “I have a question.” Their eyes glint with curiosity and their mouth is curled into a gentle, empathetic smile.
You know what’s coming, but you swallow a groan and ask, “what’s up?”
Your new straight friend grabs your hand over the grubby bartop and asks, “when did you know you were gay?” Then they exhale, lean back, and wait expectantly for an answer that will further them down the path toward Ally Enlightenment.
For the most part, people who ask this question are doing so with great intentions — they want to better understand you as a person and they are attempting to show you that they have an open mind.
But think about how ridiculous this question would be in reverse. What if the LGBTQ community went around asking straight people, “so when did you know you were straight?”
For most people, there isn’t one defining moment in which you realize your sexuality and then…
