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When I Realized I Wasn’t Straight — and Why It Took So Long
Reflecting on the lost years of hiding from myself and others.
It was mid-March 2022. I had just moved to a new city for college. An excited 19-year old, ready for any adventure that came her way, except there was more to this freedom than met the eye.
I grew up in a religious Christian household and — sad as it may be — had only begun deconstructing and questioning my beliefs little less than a year ago. Having been raised with homophobic beliefs, I learnt that January that I was in fact an ally, switched teams entirely, and was now discovering bit by bit that my undue devotion to the queer community might have had to do with something more than just the philanthropist in me (or exactly that). Moving away from my biological family and to a new city was just what I needed at the time. Thankfully for me, this new city was Delhi — the capital and my soon-to-be city of stars.
Like any good ally I had begun questioning my attraction to women. However, it would all stop the moment I’d imagine a kiss. I did not want to kiss a girl, I was sure of it. I had been attracted to several women at different points in my life, but never sexually — perhaps due to my instinctual repression of anything unchristian. Until I joined an all-girls college for my undergrad…
