Surprise! You Have to Wear Pyjamas to Bed

One of the unique phenomena of a management role at a big company is the semi-annual multi-day “offsite”. Imagine the longest meeting you’ve ever been in and stretch it out over two or three scratchy, tired, up-at-dawn-done-at-eleven type days. Pain amplified.

At best they are powerful team building exercises that bring together colleagues over fresh ideas, new directions, and opportunities for growth — not to mention the camaraderie built through shared grievances, intestinal discomfort, and deep dislike for [that guy]. At worst, they are grinding, silly examples of too much process, no measurable outcomes, and general corporate malaise.

No Alarms, No Surprises

There’s a great scene in Date Night in which Tina Fey’s character expresses her frustration with the daily grind of being a working mom, right down to the tedious nightly episode to get the kids into their jammies: “Like every night it’s this BIG SURPRISE you have to wear pyjamas to bed.”

Similarly, mega-planning offsite meetings always involve a last minute scramble of intense data mining and soul breaking slide deck preparation, all done hastily and angrily, met with a sad feigned shock each time the regularly scheduled planning season comes around. Surprise! It looks like there will be a 2014 after all — guess we should start planning…