Don’t move on too fast: a lesson from 9/12

Today is September 12th.

Everyone goes back to the grind, back to the busyness and hectic pace. There will possibly be a few mentions of 9/11 throughout the day:

“Did you see any of the memorials on TV?”

“Did your church do anything special?”

Conversation will be sincere, but probably brief. On the CNN & Fox sites there are still 9/11 headlines, but they are smaller and few (Huffington Post though has an awesome article).

It’s 9/12. We’ve moved on.

But I’d guess that those hurting haven’t. Not quite yet. They are still feeling it today, even if they did have to go back to the grind. We may be in a different place, but they are still at Ground Zero. Even if they went back to work this morning, their hearts didn’t.

It’s the same experience as going to a funeral. The day of you are right there with the mourning. You are crying and hurting with them, feeling in part what they are bearing. But the next day, though the funeral parlor is closed and you are back to work, they are still next to the casket.

It doesn’t mean that we are insensitive, it just means we need to be more mindful. “Out of sight out of mind” explains it, but doesn’t make it right.

A friend of mine who recently experienced a miscarriage let me know he is still hurting a couple months later. Paraphrasing his words, “It’s like people forgot what we went through. They’ve moved on, but we haven’t.”

So choose today to not move on. Who is someone you can call and check on?

• Someone who experienced the passing of a loved one?
• Someone who experienced a miscarriage?
• Someone who lost a job?
• Someone who was depressed?
• Someone who went through a breakup?
• Someone who was confused?
• Someone who got into a fight?
• Someone who felt betrayed?
• Someone whose world was rocked?

What they went through might have happened yesterday, last week, six months ago or a year ago — but regardless, they are not in the same place you are.


Remember that, and go back to them.

Just ask how they are doing.