Searching for a mentor in product management is like waiting for prince charming.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

There’s so much focus ( especially for women, on getting the right mentor and sponsor to help sky rocket your career that a lot of women think a mentor is almost a must have to drive their ambitions. How often do men ask you in first meeting to be their mentor? Never. I read in Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In “ Excel and you will get a mentor” . Till date whenever I asked someone to be my mentor, it has been after a first meeting in a different setting ( think after a party intro, after they’ve taken stage, after you’ve heard their podcast) or almost a random request on Linkedin. That’s as random as it sounds. I would decline such requests and justifiably, my potential mentors never responded to random requests.

• Very rarely have I gotten a second meeting , and that happened when I pitched my scenario and what are my goals. I would say start with your goal, connect it to what you have in common and offer what you in return. No, not a coffee. Something more meaningful to your potential mentor, think offering your service volunteering for a cause they care about, offering connections they would be interested in.
• If you are really junior and in the very starting phase of your career, the need to get advice is higher, but also the need to mentor a stranger is lowest (for your potential mentor).

So how do you actually get a mentor?

I would start with do you need a mentor? When you start answering it with yes, because.. list those reasons and approach carefully. When you approach a stranger on LinkedIn or speaker after their talk or a senior in your company, find out what they have accomplished. Connect dots and seek to find the overlap of interests, that’s your opening pitch. When in doubt, always prepare these 3:

• what you have accomplished, your strengths
• what you aim for
• how you plan to get there, even when you have to take gamble and think in air. If you can’t do it, imagine a stranger, no matter how experienced, doing it for you.

This preparation is what every true mentor will ask you to do for a meeting. Most people have their answers by the time they complete their preparation. Still, women think there is a mentor “prince charming” who knows the path to their happily ever after.