iPhone 8 User Interview with a Vampire

You’d think Harry, being an older vampire, wouldn’t be into tech. But he likes his toys. He’s the first to have someone line up for him at the Apple store to get the latest. My notes from the interview.

Hardware

• The iPhone 8 is blood resistant to a depth of one meter. I didn’t ask how he tested it.
• The old rice-bowl-to-dry-your-phone doesn’t quite work with blood. Something about proteins adhering to glass and blood clotting in seams and openings.
• Flicking blood off your phone gets mistaken for the “undo” shaking gesture. He keeps losing notes.
• The infrared biometrics aren’t tuned for vampires yet. They run colder than most folks, so IR facial recognition doesn’t work consistently. Frustrating.
• iOS 11 facial recognition software always spazzes when the vampire in question is of the sunshine sparkly variety.

• ARkit may be a useful alternative to touch screen for vampires sporting Nosferatu-length fingernails this season. Harry keeps misplacing his Apple Pencil which was the previous workaround.
• Relieved the Apple Pencil is not made of wood. Won’t double for a stake.
• Upgrading the selfie camera is appreciated. Helps with grooming since, you know, mirrors.
• Location privacy is still a big deal. Apex predators stay apex predators by protecting where they eat, play, work, rest. Harry laughed at the “address” field on the intake form.
• The ProMotion fast refresh display (120 Hz) gets rid of the flicker Harry had put up with since the first iPhones.
• The wireless charging is convenient. Harry says he can feel the induction. It tickles a little. Reminds him of the current pulsing along the parasympathetic vagus nerve to the heart. Harry is such a foodie.
• Wonders if Apple’s Taptic Engine could emulate the feel in your hand of a human pulse. Perhaps a reminder it’s time for lunch. Speed it up when you’re late for an appointment.
• Likes the AB-negative metal color.

Software

• Harry’s usual compulsion techniques still don’t work on Siri. I’m guessing this means Siri isn’t sentient, despite the latest upgrade. Yet.
• Harry noticed the iPhone’s infrared transmitter but he had a hard time finding where in iOS to control it. Maybe a red flashlight or flame button?
• Harry’s a little sensitive about Apple calling them “Live Photos.” Feels left out but “Undead Photos” don’t have the same ring to them.
• Harry uses the “indoor maps” feature at malls and airports. Works OK for some larger cemeteries too but only in the US.

Harry started doodling emoji he said he’d use. Sunrise, sunset, blood types, happy smiley with fangs out, angry smiley with fangs out, one fang only, a beating heart, a Vlad peeking from a cape. I left him to it.

Thanks to our friends at Skype for Vampires.

See more on designing for vampires on my Product Hospice blog:

Designing for Vampires: Transparency

Designing for Vampires: Market Size

Designing for Vampires - Product Hospice - Medium