A Product Manager’s Guide to Planning a Wedding
Tami Reiss is the founder of The Product Leader Coach where she works with product leaders and teams to realize their potential by focusing on their strengths.
I’ve previously written about how dating is like SaaS sales, this post will focus on on framing planning a wedding, given that you’ve found that partner you were looking for. Like that other post I’m going to draw similarities between familiar terminology used by PMs to frame how to successfully plan your dream wedding.
Wedding = Product: It’s one of the most important events in your life and all of the effort you put in will pay off. But there’s a very slim chance everything will be perfect. Remember that all products have bugs as so will your wedding, so breathe and remember that vast majority of people never notice the issues.
Wedding Date = Launch Date: Let’s start with the obvious. You only get one shot at this particular product launch, as there’s no way to push it back if everything isn’t ready. If there was a Resource — Quality — Time triangle for your wedding, it would be a fixed time project. Chances are you probably have a budget too, which means you’re in a fixed resource and time scenario. That means the only thing that can change is quality, so be ready to make some compromises. With that in mind you’ll be able to use your prioritization skills to determine what’s really important, don’t sweat the small stuff.
Partners = Partners: I’m stressing that which should be obvious. Your life partner whether they are the bride or groom has a vision of what their wedding day will be. Like in all joint ventures, both parties put their name on the finished product and this may yield some brand conflicts. If you can surface why the things are important to them and how it relates to their identity early on, then find common ground your future spouse will feel even more like your partner. If they are passionate about something, let them own it… and let them own some things they aren’t excited about too. But similar to other partners, making it clear who is responsible for what deliverables will minimize fighting later. Also, ever notice that parents names are also on the invitation? That means they have similar brand concerns related to their invited guests which should be understood as well.
Parents = Stakeholders: The classic wedding planning conflict arrises between parents and children, so I find this the one most helpful for brides and grooms to be. Ninety percent of a Product Managers’s role is working with other teams, listening to their requests, and managing their expectations. The same sort of activities are required to keep your parents at bay. Like all stakeholders, parents want to be heard and need to be kept in the loop about how things are progressing. The small investment of time on an ongoing basis will save you hours later. Additionally, if you can let them have their pick on some of those small details mentioned above, they will feel like they have had a few wins and make it less of an issue when their opinion is ignored on other matters.
Guests = Users: It’s your wedding, but you probably want your guests to have a great time too. As product managers, we create delightful user experiences, and the same opportunity is there for your wedding guests. Want to know what will make the event memorable and enjoyable for them? ASK THEM! Getting feedback can also help settle disputes between partners and stakeholders. It’s easier to side with one perspective when many people share it, even if that viewpoint isn’t yours. In our wedding, I thought a sleight of hand magician would be awesome for the cocktail hour… luckily, we asked some friends and learned that I was definitely wrong. On that note, go to other people’s weddings and conduct “user research” :)
Wedding Planner = Project Manager: Not everyone has the budget to work with a wedding planner or day of coordinator, but if you do, treat them like you would your project manager. They have worked on hundreds of weddings, and you will hopefully only plan one, so leverage their experience. It’s still your wedding and your vision, their role is to make sure all of the trains leave the station on time so that you don’t have to worry about it. Be nice to them though, they are the lynchpin in this launch and they’re the often best person to help you navigate trade-offs.
Florist = Designer: Treat your florist / event designer like you would your product designer. They need creative freedom and if you are too precise with instructions, they will recoil. Like with the designer on your team, talk about your vision and goals, and collaborate with them on making them a reality. They often surprise you with innovative ideas as they come from a different perspective.
Vendors = Engineers: Most weddings have at least 6 vendors (venue, caterer, photographer, videographer, florist, and officiant) and there can be many more if your affair is more complicated. Though you are paying your vendors, if you think of them as developers, you will realize that nothing will be completed without their help. It’s best to get on their good side and ensure that they feel proud of what they are working on. What often happens, as it does with engineers, is that they create something even better than you imagined when they are empowered to do so. On a side note, the more quality your developer, the better the code and product, so think about where you want to invest in vendors. You wouldn’t have a junior engineer design the core elements that are supposed to last forever, so don’t skimp on the photographer that’s creating your lasting memories.
A Marriage = A Company: Your wedding is probably the first product you and your partner will launch. Like a company, your marriage is what you want to really invest in making last for decades. The wedding maybe your launch, but without adequate support, ongoing maintenance, and new features, interest will wane. With everything I’ve listed to keep in mind, that is probably the most important.
Are you a product person who recently got engaged or married? Did this resonate with you? What would you add or adjust?
Hi! I’m Tami, the founder of The Product Leader Coach where I work with product leaders and teams to realize their potential by focusing on their strengths.
If you enjoyed this post, I am available for product leadership coaching or team training. Learn more about my services and upcoming children’s book.
