Originally published at lmt-lss.com on November 6, 2015.
Cut the boring routine and start heating things up.
You’re not sure how or why it happened, but your relationship has somehow landed itself in a sexual rut. Before, you and your partner couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Now, you’re more interested in catching up on your favourite show than indulging in a steamy session with your partner. The passion, the excitement, and the drive no longer exists to make your sexual routine fun and energetic. It’s no longer spontaneous, it’s predictable.
Here are 7 ways to light that fire again, and make the sex steamier than ever.
1. Ditch the routine.
Most couples are under the impression that sex is boring and gets predictable when they do it in the same style. But this sexual rut is not a condition, it’s a choice. If you feel your sexual life is getting monotonous, be open to trying new positions and add variety to your sexual routine. Be spontaneous by grabbing your partner discreetly in public or sneaking a sensual kiss every now and then.
2. Role Play
If you’re in a sexual rut, there’s no better way to heat things up than indulging in a little role play. Discuss the possibilities with your partner and if they’re open to bringing some creativity into your love life. Nurse and doctor, teacher and student, spy and assassin — the options are endless and you can always shake it up by playing the role of your favourite movie, comic book or video game characters.
3. Sex it up at Different Locations
The same old bed can get a little boring after a while and put you in a sexual rut. Move out of the bedroom and try having sex in new and interesting places in your house. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even explore your options and step out of the house. You can always hook up in a plush hotel room or drive to a deserted place and sex it up in the car. Look closer and you’ll see that there’s a lot room for improvisation and creativity when it comes to sex.
4. Learn to Pleasure Yourself
Pleasuring yourself helps you learn more about what turns you on and what doesn’t, making you more comfortable with your sexuality. This self-discovery is essential to getting you into the O-zone and makes it easier for your partner to pleasure you. When you learn to pleasure yourself, you learn how to improve your orgasms, and in turn the sex-life with your partner. Watch a sexy film, read erotica, or indulge in dirty talk with your partner over text to get in the mood.
5. Turn Chores into Foreplay
Doing chores are a drag and by the time you finish them, you’re mentally and physically exhausted. To make it more fun, turn these chores into foreplay for you and your partner. Start by deciding a goal and the winner gets to choose their naughty sex-laced gift after the chores are done. This way, you finish your chores and garner enough sexual tension for the steamy sex that follows.
6. Your Fantasies
If you want him to dress up like a cowboy or have a romp on the terrace, be vocal about those fantasies. If you want her to dress up like a teacher or make love on the beach under the stars, tell her this is what turns you on. To make it more interesting, write down those fantasies on paper and put them in a ‘fantasy box’. Whenever you find yourself in a rut, take out the fantasy box and then act out the fantasy.
7. Tell each other what turns you on.
Communication is key to every relationship, emotionally and sexually. Show your partner what you like and what turns you on. Be open about your likes, dislikes, and preferences; that’s how the sex gets infinitely hotter and better. If you are interested in trying some light bondage or that interesting position you read about, communicate those feelings clearly to your partner.