The Do’s And Don’ts Of Flirting With A Girl Over Text Messages

Originally published at on October 15, 2015.

The right message sets the tone for the rest of your conversation.

Image Source: Huffington Post

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’re both curious and anxious about texting your crush.

Congrats! You finally have her number and now it’s time to get your flirt on. But you don’t want your first message to be awkward, over-thought, and uncomfortable. The chances of miscommunication and texting faux-pas in the digital age are high, and the process of texting your crush can be intimidating. But don’t fret. Here’s your official welcome to ‘Flirting Over Text — 101′.

Short Forms Vs. Grammatical Accuracy

Image Source: Giphy

You may think the texting lingo is cool and that it makes you seem ‘chill’. But trust me, it doesn’t. The time taken to decode your ‘hey wt r yew duin?’ can be a deal breaker and is definitely a major turn-off. Avoid the sloppiness and send a well-written message approved by a Grammar Nazi, or just someone who paid attention in high school.

Emoticons Vs. Sentences

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Emoticons were invented to express our feelings without putting them into words. While it’s okay to send the occasional ‘heart kiss’ smiley, she appreciates when you put your feelings into a fully formed sentence. Use an emoticon for added emphasis or while being flirtatious. The overkill of emoticons is distracting and takes away from what you’re trying to say.

Funnies Vs. Nudies

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Girls admire a good sense of humour and find themselves attracted to guys who make them laugh. The easiest way to initiate a conversation is sending a funny picture. Don’t be the guy who sends vulgar pictures saying, ‘Just sitting here, thinking of you.’ Be the guy who makes her smile when she sees your message, not cringe internally.

Sober Vs. Drunk

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Texting her when sober shows your interest in her is genuine. Drunk texting, on the other hand, shows you’re probably playing around. Your common sense goes on a sabbatical and you resort to sending indecipherable texts. Be direct if you like her and don’t resort to alcohol to show your interest. You can never go back after a drunk text.

Tons of Texts Vs. Radio Silence

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There are two extremes of texting that are deal breakers. First, when you send a dozen texts when she doesn’t respond to them. (Cool your jets, because if she’s interested, you will get a reply.) Second, don’t be afraid to start the conversation if you haven’t spoken in a while. It’s okay to start a conversation with a simple ‘Hey, what’s up?’

Compliments Vs. Unnecessary Flattering

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When you go overboard with compliments, you start to sound like the guys in the ‘Other Messages’ on Facebook. Always give genuine compliments and don’t resort for those based on looks. Let her know that her appearance isn’t the only thing that matters to you. When you give her a compliment, go for substance instead of quantity.

Flirting Vs. Sexting

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Just because she’s texting you, doesn’t mean she’s ready to jump into bed with you. Test the waters with pleasant and harmless flirting. Playfully tease her about her TV show habits or how she’s trying to flirt with you. If she responds, you know she’s interested. If you want to initiate sexting, keep it classy and imaginative.

Personal Vs. Generic

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Don’t stick to asking her basic questions like, ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ Broaden your horizons and ask her what coloured M&M’s she prefers. Ask her questions that intrigue her and spark her interest. Generic questions, as easy as they seem, are less of a conversation starter and more of a conversation killer.

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