Why You Should Make Yourself Emotionally Available

Originally published at lmt-lss.com on March 12, 2016.

Being emotionally available is a conscious choice. Choose it.

It’s simple to drown into a pool of bravado and showmanship where you show people you’ve locked down every emotion. It doesn’t take much to pretend and when you actually choose to be dishonest about how you truly feel, the first thing that comes across is a veneer of emotional unavailability.

As much as we’d like to deny it, we’ve seen what emotional unavailability looks like. It’s that one person we all know who seems to have it all figured out, who talks like a philosopher (with disastrous results, have you even read Aristotle?) and seems to know exactly how people work. We’ve all got our set of insecurities brewing over the years, growing into monstrosities that we struggle to take control over. It doesn’t mean that’s an excuse to avoid openness and vulnerability.

Being emotionally available isn’t about wearing your heart on your sleeve or pouring your heart out about everything in your life to absolutely everyone. It’s about the little gestures when you ask to hold a friend’s hand when times are tough, it’s when you’re honest about your expectations from a date instead of swirling in circles to flirt. It’s about saying the entire truth when you could make do with half of it because saying only half of it is betraying the fact of how you feel.

It’s an incredibly tough task to be emotionally available though. It’s not a switch you turn on and off anytime you want. It’s a process — slow, painstaking, steady — a whole cavalcade of discovering yourself and being comfortable with everything that is dark, dreary and terrifying in you. Being emotionally available is about calming the voices in your head down that tell you can’t do it and stepping into a room to do it anyway, no matter what the consequences.

You have to take a leap of faith sometimes. And being emotionally available is exactly that. So do it.

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