Interpreting the Cries of Your Stakeholders

Lessons in effective stakeholder communications I've learned from a newborn

On June 13th, 2022, I was promoted! I gained a ton of new responsibilities overnight as I earned my new job title: Father. Before my promotion, I did what I normally do to prepare. I read a few books on the subject, met with experts (my parents), and scoured the internet looking for tips and tricks. On the day of the promotion, I met my primary stakeholder, my new baby boy.

Babies are amazing in many ways. They are naturally curious, they learn and grow quickly, and they are incredibly cute. But one area where babies stink (not just their diapers) is in their communication skills. Babies cannot tell you exactly what they want or need, so they often rely on simple sounds or movements. However, when they really need your attention, they cry… a lot.

Nothing I had done had adequately prepared me for the intense emotional feeling that comes from trying to appease a crying baby. The stakes are always high. Responding to my son's cries appropriately and in a timely fashion ensures a calm and quiet household and, ultimately, a happy and healthy baby. Yet despite facing what was an entirely new experience, I couldn't help but think that the situation felt oddly familiar…

Stakeholder Communications

Product Management, at its core, is about communication, and as a Product Manager, I have found myself at the center of many difficult conversations with stakeholders.

All too often, business stakeholders come to product managers with cries of their own. Cries for information, for new features, and cries for help.

Fortunately, with enough experience, patterns emerge. When a key stakeholder comes to you seeking attention, there are usually a finite number of reasons why. Knowing the common reasons why a baby or a stakeholder cries allows you to develop consistent response strategies.

The Four Most Common Cries

In my experience as a father and as a PM, I have heard a lot of cries. And not all cries are equal. Below are the four most common cries that I have heard and how I have learned to respond.

Hunger = Feeding Information

Most of the time, when my son cries, he's hungry. Growing babies need to drink lots of milk in order to appease their appetite. And he is not someone who likes to wait. The longer it takes to feed him, the louder and louder he cries.

Stakeholders are no different. A hungry baby is like a stakeholder who is hungry for information. In a complex organization, stakeholders are responsible for the success of many initiatives that involve product management support. And when they don’t have the information they need to communicate to their constituents, they can be relentless in their quest to gain the insights they require. And as with my son, the longer you wait, the louder these stakeholders become.

So, how do we combat this? With my son, the solution comes from always having a bottle prepared. Sometimes this means the bottle goes unused and is thrown out, but most of the time when my son begins to show signs of hunger, his thirst is quenched before the cries become deafening.

This exact same strategy applies to stakeholders. The best way to quell the cries of a stakeholder who is hungry for information is to have the information documented and ready BEFORE they ask for it.

This is a lot of work, but taking the time to document meeting notes, research activities, customer interviews, requirements, or whatever else may be expected of you only helps to ensure that you and your stakeholders are aligned, minimizing miscommunications which can end up taking more time to correct than the time it takes to generate documentation in the first place. And yes, sometimes your documents will go unused, but as the saying goes, it is better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

Dirty Diaper = Help with Cleanup

My son is adorable. He is a coy smiler and usually has that new baby smell. But sometimes he just… smells.

When a baby cries due to the discomfort of a dirty diaper, that discomfort grows over time. Similar to hunger, the longer you wait, the more uncomfortable the baby becomes. This feeling of discomfort is exacerbated by the fact that if you do not clean a diaper fast enough, it can lead to diaper rash.

Now, with a dirty diaper, I do have an out. I could defer responsibility to my wife, who is also accountable for my son's well-being. However, declaring that changing diapers is “not my job” over time would display a lack of commitment to both my son and my wife, and someday she may decide to declare that I am “not her husband”.

Stakeholders in an organization often find themselves in messy situations as well. This can be due to a plethora of reasons, such as a missed target for an ad campaign, an outage from a cloud service provider, or an internal bug causing a system disruption.

Regardless of the why, product managers are often called upon to provide additional support to help clean up a messy situation. And during these moments, PMs should not hesitate to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty, metaphorically speaking, of course.

This is not the time to declare that this is not part of your job description. Product Managers should want to see their product and company find success, and when they can help, they should. Taking quick, decisive actions and being a team player only helps ensure that messy situations are cleaned up quickly, and the organization does not suffer the consequences of neglect.

Random Pains = Understanding the Problem

Unfortunately, not every cry has an immediate observable cause. Some of the worst moments I have experienced as a new father are when my son cries, and there is no clear reason why. As we have already established, babies cannot tell you what is wrong, so it is up to you to determine the source of their ailment.

Root cause analysis is the key to success here. Being able to assess the situation and establish a cause gives you the opportunity to determine the right solution. We must first start by narrowing down the problem. If we can localize to a specific body part (or area of the business), this allows us to dive deeper. And using tools like the 5 whys can go a long way in narrowing down possibilities.

For example, if I notice that my son is putting his hands in his mouth while wincing in pain, then it is unlikely that his foot needs attention. So, I focus on his mouth. Then I look in his mouth and see his gums are inflamed. Why? A tooth is appearing, he's teething. Time to get his teething ring out of the refrigerator and into his mouth ASAP!

A similar scenario can occur in any organization. Imagine a stakeholder is exclaiming that the click-through rate has dropped by 50%. The first thing we need to do is localize the problem. Did it fall by 50% for all customers or a specific segment? In all geographies or a specific location?

Once you can localize the problem, then you can start asking why. Click-through rates have gone down only for our new customer segment in the UK. Why only here? Perhaps there's a bug that only impacts the UK website. Time to call the engineers.

By determining a root cause, we can help our stakeholders not only understand what is happening but we can help define the solution that will alleviate their pain.

Exhaustion = Everyone is human

The last common reason that my son cries is because he is exhausted. After a long day of drinking milk, playing with toys, and being smothered with attention by adoring parents, there is nothing more that my son wants than to lay in bed and get some sleep. Being a baby is tough!

In these moments, there is no need for a bottle, a fresh diaper, or a teething ring. All I can do is lay him in bed and provide some company as he wiggles and squirms until he falls into dreamland. Empathy is the key here. I stay by his side to show him that I am there for him, even if there is nothing I can do.

This is true in business too. Sometimes, stakeholders may come to you with complaints or frustrations that you have no control over. All you can do when having these conversations is be empathetic, show the stakeholder that you are listening, and promise to be there to support them when the right moment arises.

Everyone is human, and everyone wants to be heard. Being a Product Manager means you are in the fortunate position of being connected to many different voices within the organization. Do your best to foster these relationships and ensure your stakeholders that you are someone they can count on.

Summary

When handling the cries of a stakeholder, remember these four key strategies for success.

1) Always be prepared. Document as much as you can and share freely to ensure your stakeholders feel well-informed.

2) Always be willing to help. When a stakeholder finds himself in a messy situation, jump in and assist them whenever possible.

3) Determine the root cause. Not every challenge will have an obvious origin. By narrowing down the scope and finding the source of the problem, you can propose more targeted solutions.

4) Be empathetic. Business is tough. There are days when things will go wrong that are not in your control. Be a calm voice amongst the chaos and support your colleagues.

I am not the perfect father, nor am I the perfect Product Manager. I have learned to implement the above strategies through both successes and failures I have made in stakeholder communications. I encourage you to try these strategies for yourself as you hear the cries of your stakeholders.