Getting Over My Regret to Understand What I Want

(…what I really, really want)

Trigger warning! : Unlike some of the young Millennials in the class, this old Millennial has had some experience in going back to the beginning. Chapter 3 of Lindsey Pollock’s Getting from College to Career (2012) set off a trigger in me, this may be a bit messy!

“Be patient with yourself, and be aware that very few people know exactly what career they want to pursue at a young age.” (Pollack, 50) I’d like to think the range of ‘young age’ is (or should be) between 18–35! Just based on personal experience.

The story of how I got here could be called a cautionary tale, but to go into the details would take me longer than this short blog post. But I’ll try my best to summarize…

An Original from my freelance days in Baltimore, MD 2012

I chose my first career trajectory, theatre, because I liked it, and ended up discovering another passion, photography. This became my first career after college in 2008; photography. I worked freelance for portrait photography and theatre production photography. I had fun, and I loved it.

However, I couldn’t support myself as an independent photographer, so I worked for a chain family studio and after 3 years doing that, I lost my passion for photography. After five short years scraping by (both financially and emotionally), I decided to go back to seek a more financially secure career. Passion was set aside.

Oh! What a Lovely War! Directed by Chris Roberts, 2007. One of my first photography “jobs” during my college career at Stevenson University.

Under my mother’s suggestion, I returned to school to pursue a “safe” career as an x-ray technician, and I truly believe that the reason I failed was because I absolutely HATED IT!!!

According to Pollack, taking advice from relatives is not a good idea (Pollack, 52), and she was right. I also went into RadTech solely for money, not that a tech is high paid, but it would’ve been a steady income. That was the motivation to pursue it, and Pollack suggests that “…money should be a factor.” But not “…the factor.” (Pollack, 63) So I went back again, and I know I am not the only person who has gone back, but I still had anxiety about it. Once again, I had to think about what I wanted.

My brief moment as a RadTech student at HCC.

“Figure out what you want…and what you don’t” (Pollack, 48)…I can make a list of what I don’t want.

I don’t want to do something just to make money, and I don’t want to do something that will make me miserable.

“Do you something you totally love doing.” (Pollack, 88) I chose theatre because I knew it was something I could do well, but I wasn’t that passionate about it. I fell into photography by accident, one class, one photo and boom! I was hooked. But, I have had other passions aswell.

I’ve always loved to write and tell stories, and I miss loving photography, but my passion for it is becoming back.

That is why I decided to come back to study media. Media will give me the opportunity to put my passions into a career.

If I could do anything, I would blog for a travel site. I could travel, write and take photos! That would be my dream job.

I had an amazing opportunity over the summer to revisit my old passion at Greenpeace as a Photo Intern. I had a great mentor/supervisor there. That work was photojournalism mostly, but one of my last projects was close to what I want to do.

Sky’s the Limit! (Another Original by me, taken in Baltimore, MD 2008)

My big challenge is to start writing again, and get back into the photo studio. Not a chain family studio like the ones that sucked the soul out of me, but my own personal studio. Freelance can be lucrative but does not come with the benefits of a steady job. However, it would be a good way to get back to something I forgot how much I loved.

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Works Cited

Pollack, Lindsey. 2012. Getting from College to Career. New York: Harper.