Navigating the Pitfalls of People-Pleasing in Your Professional Life
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How People-Pleasing Can Hurt Your Career and Well-Being
I think that I was people-pleasing for the majority of my life. Working made me feel like nobody could be mad at me: ‘Okay, I said yes, we’re doing it. Nobody’s mad.’ And then I felt like I reached a point where people were not pleased just by my existence. So that kind of shook me out of thinking that work or your career can bring any kind of peace to your soul.” — Jennifer Lawrence
Even the most successful individuals can fall victim to people-pleasing. Many well-known figures, including celebrities such as Jennifer Lawrence, Zendaya, Brie Larson, and Kelly Clarkson, have openly acknowledged struggling with the tendency to prioritize others at the expense of their well-being and career progression.
While making others happy may seem harmless, people-pleasing becomes problematic at the expense of our well-being and career progression.
Specifically within the workplace, people-pleasing manifests in various ways.
- Saying “yes” to every request, regardless of workload or personal priorities.
- Taking on extra work without compensation or recognition.
- Staying late at the office even when it’s not necessary.
- Constantly avoiding conflict.
- Difficulty expressing your opinions and ideas.
Consequences of unchecked people-pleasing in the workplace
- Burnout and decreased productivity: Overextending yourself can lead to fatigue, stress, and reduced motivation.
- Resentment and anger: Feeling unappreciated and taken advantage of can breed negativity towards colleagues and the organization.
- Loss of self-esteem: Constantly seeking validation from others can damage your self-worth and confidence.
- Inability to set healthy boundaries: Difficulty saying “no” and setting boundaries often leads to being taken advantage of and manipulated.
- Sabotage of career advancement: Difficulty saying “no” and expressing your opinions can limit opportunities for growth and advancement.
How to identify if you’re a people-pleaser at work
- You struggle to say “no” to requests, even when overloaded.
- You feel anxious or uncomfortable when you have to disagree with someone.
- You prioritize the needs of others over your own, even when it’s inconvenient.
- You feel resentful or taken advantage of after helping others.
- You need help expressing your opinions and ideas in meetings.
Breaking free from people-pleasing at work
- Identify your triggers: Recognize situations that pressure you to say yes or go out of your way for others.
- Set boundaries: Learn to say “no” gracefully and assertively, prioritizing your time and energy.
- Focus on your own goals: Schedule time for tasks that contribute to your professional development and career aspirations.
- Practice assertiveness: Develop clear communication skills to effectively express your opinions and needs.
- Seek support: Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or therapist for guidance and encouragement.
Unchecked people-pleasing can lead to burnout and resentment, ultimately hindering your progress. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and career development is not selfish! You can create a more balanced and fulfilling work life by setting healthy boundaries and caring for yourself.
Further Reading:
- What is a People Pleaser? (WebMD)
- The Underpinnings of People-Pleasing (Psychology Today)
- The Need to Please: The Psychology of People-Pleasing (Psych Central)
- 8 Ways to Stop Being a People-Pleaser (Verywell Mind)
Cover Image Credit: RepresentUs
Do you struggle with people-pleasing at work? Share your biggest challenge in the comments!
Practical Advice for New College Graduates
Now that the fall semester has ended, a wave of college graduates will prepare to embark on a new life chapter. Transitioning from academia to the professional world is exciting and uncertain for those graduating this fall.
The Professional Plus article “10 Tips for New College Graduates Entering the Workforce” offers valuable advice to recent graduates on their professional journeys. It emphasizes the importance of continuous learning, building strong relationships, effective communication, taking initiative, and prioritizing well-being.
Here are the key takeaways from the article:
- Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace learning, seek feedback, and actively participate in development opportunities.
- Build Strong Relationships: Network, connect with colleagues and mentors, and show genuine interest in others.
- Communicate Effectively: Express yourself clearly, tailor your communication style, and listen actively.
- Take the initiative and Own Your Work: Do not wait for instructions; solve problems and propose solutions.
- Prioritize Well-being and Balance: Maintain a healthy work-life balance, manage stress, and invest in activities you enjoy.
This article also encourages graduates to remember that success takes time, dedication, and a willingness to adapt. It emphasizes embracing challenges, celebrating accomplishments, and staying true to one’s values.
Are you a recent graduate? If so, what advice do you have to share with other young professionals?
Kenan Thompson’s Early Struggles Offer Valuable Lessons for Young Professionals
Kenan Thompson’s journey to becoming the longest-running cast member on Saturday Night Live wasn’t always filled with laughter and success. His new memoir, “When I Was Your Age: Life Lessons, Funny Stories & Questionable Parenting Advice from a Professional Clown,” reveals the “ton of rookie mistakes” he made early on, leading to doubts and anxieties that resonate with many young professionals today.
Here are some key takeaways from Thompson’s experience that young professionals can learn from:
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes: Everyone makes mistakes, especially starting. Thompson’s initial struggles show that even the most successful individuals face setbacks. Don’t let fear of failure keep you from taking risks and learning from your experiences.
- Seek feedback and guidance: Thompson’s confidence was boosted by Maya Rudolph’s validation. Surround yourself with mentors and colleagues who can provide constructive feedback and support.
- Be patient and persistent: Success doesn’t happen overnight. Thompson persevered through initial challenges and eventually found his place on the show. True success comes through hard work, dedication, and a willingness to learn and grow.
- Celebrate others’ successes: Thompson learned to celebrate others’ wins, realizing it’s not a competition. As a young professional, focus on building strong relationships and supporting your colleagues.
- Find your voice: Thompson had to overcome doubts about his comedic style. Don’t be afraid to stand out and express your unique talents and perspectives.
- Enjoy the journey: Despite the challenges, Thompson emphasizes the excitement and joy of being on Saturday Night Live. Remember to enjoy your work and appreciate the learning opportunities along the way.
Kenan Thompson’s story reminds us that success is a journey, not a destination. Embrace your mistakes, learn from them, and strive towards your goals. Remember, it’s not always about overnight success but dedication, resilience, and the ability to learn and grow.
Do you have any inspiring examples of overcoming early career challenges? Share your experiences in the comments.
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