5 Things You Never Noticed About Every Listicle You’ve Ever Read

In our class discussion of writing as content, we’ve talked about producing content that is optimized for search engines. This prioritization of style over writing has given rise to the listicle — a web article in the form of a list. This form has been even more popularized by sites like BuzzFeed, who seem to churn out such lists by the hundreds. Although there are literally thousands of examples of this type of content, there are a number of things that you probably never noticed that almost every one of them has in common. Here are 5 of them:

1. A click-bait title like the one at the top of this article.

(Source)

Listicles are almost always about generating hits on a web page, and one important way to do that is to include a dramatic — and perhaps sometimes slightly misleading — title. Such titles are often written in second person to heighten their conversational tone, and usually hint at revealing some huge secret that you’ve been missing all this time, whether you really have or not.

2. An unnecessarily patronizing intro paragraph like the one you just read.

(Source)

Listicle writers have to pad their list with some sort of intro, but the introductory paragraph tends to tell the reader very little that they didn’t already know. However, it does have the critical function of creating ethos for the writer and setting the tone for the list that follows.

3. At least one reference to a research study of dubious authenticity.

(Source)

According to a new study by [Insert Name of an Institution, complete with a link that the writer knows you’re probably never going to click] only two items are needed to make a full-blown listicle, so get out there and start listing things!

4. This gif of Emma Stone from Saturday Night Live.

(Source)

Because no matter what the list is about, we can all relate to sitting on our desk crying while listening to Adele and eating an entire pint of ice cream.

5. A final point that really isn’t a final point at all.

(Source)

In my experience, the last bullet point in a listicle is often just a bare-bones conclusion in disguise. But remember, the most important thing is that you’ve just gained all of this useless knowledge!