To the one who showed me dreams are real.

profiles of positive influence. n.1

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There are people who enter your lives and set up shop, occupying a place for as long as you’ll let them. Others try to move into town, only to find the rent’s too high, and the weather too cold — there are billions of other places in the world. Then there’s the mercurial ones, who seem to occupy the time between seconds, filled with unbridled enthusiasm and made of quicksilver. My whole life I’ve been fascinated with these people chasing after them hoping for some of the stardust to rub off on me. When you meet someone like this you know in an instant, this is someone who you will be better for having known. This is not a story of love, or of lust. For this is dealing with forces much stronger than the sting of Cupid’s bow.

They have the chance to shake up your whole world, for better or worse; and then be gone before you realize it. Never a long drawn out good bye, or an emotionally charged parting. One day you’ll look around and realize how different things look from way up here; from such great heights. Which is what they’ve been telling you this whole time. Yet when you turn to tell them that ‘they were right all along’ you realize no one’s there. Strangely, you’re ok with this, as you turn back towards this newfound view. Of course they will be fine without you, they’re the one who knew about this place after all. By no fault of there’s its likely you meant far less to them, then they did to you.

This may sound like heartbreak, but it’s not. For this was never a courtship, nor was it romantic love. It was a recognition of the greatness in another human being, someone with elements of what you’ve always wanted to one day be. Recognizing the sparks of creativity, spontaneity, and energy which I lacked; I built them up as idealized an ineffable being. A flaw in my tendency towards Romanticism, as even the mercurial are multi-dimensional, real, people, whom you’ve only seen a glimpse of. The problem, as I’ve now realized, is that you get the way better deal, and they never get so much as a thank you in return.


So how do you thank someone over a decade later, for the impact which they may have no idea they made? Do you tell them that, they broadened your horizons helping you to see music in a new light. Breaking down the rigid walls of genre; setting you on a path of musical discovery paved with DJ gigs, record deals, tours, and recognition. Do you return the favor of the burned CDs with your music? Songs which people danced to, songs that people loved, songs that may never have existed had it not been for them? No, that’s far too narcissistic, and this laptop has no CD drive. How can I explain the importance of a friendship, that existed on Xanga, AOL instant messenger and in 9th Grade biology? A friendship which would help shatter the illusions of the hierarchy of high-school popularity. As trivial as it now seems, that was an awakening for me, an enlightenment. These are not easy things to pay back.

When I moved to Hawaii in 7th grade, I thought I understood things; I liked what I knew would help me gain friends at a new school. The plan worked fine, for a while. By 8th grade, I started to realize the cranks beginning to form, represented by the infamous 8th Grade Wall, stories from K-Town and Lanikai, all of which my friend had a connection to but I did not. I could see the ground fracturing into several pieces, and I was on a piece drifting away from the “island of popularirty.”

While we weren’t in the same section, or homeroom, we somehow intersected enough between forced math test retakes and electives for us to start talking. You already liked movies like ‘Garden State’ and ‘Donnie Darko,’ and knew bands in genres I had never heard of (I’ll save you the embarrassment of naming them all but trust me they were really cool for 2004). None of my friends understood why we would say hi to each other in the hallway, but we would have long chats about your K-Town drama, and dreams of life after Punahou. I also know enough about you to know that everything wasn’t perfect, but you endured through shit that would have made most people that crumble; just one of the ways in which you inspire me. I watched as you carved out your own identity, as you became an artist, as you started to ignite the creative fire; which today burns bright as it continues to catch fire. As your star continues to rise in the world of acting, writing, modeling and art; I watch it with a sense of pride.

So how do you say thank you, to someone who is a gift?

You start by telling the world her name. You tell the world of her glory.

This is dedicated to Julia Fae Sanders; the first true artist I met in my life. You were never confined to one identity, one medium, or one truth; for you know there is no such thing. While many slave away at trying to explain what we can see, you will look towards what we can’t. The moments between the moments, the invisible space where realities convergence. You always choose the path leading to growth over the status quo, something you told me years ago. You’re not afraid of change, in any iteration; be it within your self or in the world that surrounds you. Within you is the potential for the infinite, a daughter of chaos and balance, able to channel an entire Pantheon; in its entirety or in pieces. You’re not just a dreamer, or a dream-seeker, because both of these do not believe that dreams are real. To me dreams are as real as anything tangible, a collection of the fragments of experience, memories, and ideas seen through the prism of infinity. If you have yet to understand this last one, know it is true because I have come to known it through knowing you.

I hope/know artistic collaboration is in our future; and I await that day anxiously. Till then I continue to strive towards the impossible which you first helped open my eyes to, simply by doing what came natural to you.

You’ll never really know what you mean to someone, or what seemingly small acts of kindness; things you would normally do, can change someone’s life. The majority of people I profile will likely have an idea about their effect on me; I just wanted to make sure you did too.

  • w/ aloha
  • Drew

If you’ve ever liked any of my music, words, or contributions to this thing we got going called existence, check out and support the art of Julia.

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