How to carry influence from day one.
“Influence is our inner ability to lift people up to our perspective,” says Joseph Wong.
Influence is the say that you can have over the things that matter. Influence is being able to add your voice, to participate, to change the outcome, to change minds, to provide input, to provide direction. Influence is the opportunity to grow your career faster than you imagined. Influence leads to opportunity, to impact, and to leadership.
We each have influence in our own lives. We decide what we wear, what we eat, what we drink, what we read, what we listen to, what we watch, when we choose to wake up, when we go to bed. We have autonomy over large parts of our personal lives.
On the professional side, we may have far little. We may be told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and why to do it. Our influence over our day-to-day life may be constrained by others, indeed, by the influence of others. The influence that others have seems to shrink our own. In fact, it seems like the more influence someone else has, the less of it we get.
Influence seems like a zero-sum game. That’s a misconception.
If you’re a young career professional, you might feel hesitant to sit at the table where decisions get made. You might feel that you still have to earn a spot at the table, and that the seat at the table comes from knowledge, tenure, stature, or titles. You might feel that influence is something that will be granted when others think that you are ready for it.
I disagree.
Influence comes from one human being affecting another.
Each of us can have influence from day one, if we choose.
Influence stems from our perception of someone’s connection with us, our perception of their compassion, and our perception of their character. It’s all in how we perceive others.
Those we see, those we feel, and those we admire — these are the people who affect us, who influence us.
Connection. We build trust through regular communication. The more we hear from someone, the more they are in our orbit, the more we laugh with them, the more we break bread with them, the closer we feel to them, the more we build a rapport with them, the more we feel a part of a community with them, the more trust we have in them as people, and the greater their influence on us.
Compassion. We never forget when someone makes us feel good. We are influenced by a kind word on a tough day, positivity in the face of adversity, a hug when we need it, or a word of praise or recognition when our backs are against the wall. The more someone moves us, the more joy they make us feel, the more enthusiastic they are, the kinder they are, the more helpful they are when we are in a corner, the greater their influence on us.
Character. We admire someone who does the right thing even when nobody is watching. We admire those who are pillars of integrity, those who can make difficult decisions at great personal cost, those who stand up for what’s right. We admire those who’ve conquered obstacles, who’ve fought impossible battles, and those who show up wiser, not bitter, for all of it. The more someone makes us reflect, makes us dig deeper, makes us think, and makes us grow, the greater their influence on us.
“Building relationships and learning how to influence downward, sideways, and upward is pivotal to your career success,” says the Harvard Business Review article on 3 Ways to Grow Your Influence in a New Job.
Who has influence?
The problem solver. This is that person who has ideas, who brings new energy into the room to look at something in a different way. In a high-stress situation when the rest of the room is defeatist, when others declare something to be impossible and ready to throw in the towel, this person finds the possible, they find a win. This person restores a sense of normalcy and rational thinking in the room. They don’t panic, they think. This type of person inspires us to dig deeper, to think harder, to work together to solve the problem. They influence us.
The thinker. This is that person whose words carry sincerity, substance, principle, and profound thought. You can hear a pin drop in the room when they speak as everyone realizes that they are listening to something special and of significance. Their wisdom comes from experience, from battling the odds, from a place of struggle and survival. This type of person makes us pause (out of pure respect), listen, and reflect on what matters. They influence us.
The enthusiastic. This is that person looks and sounds like they are having way too much fun working, and that they don’t think of work as work. It’s not just that they get things done, but that they get things done with irrepressible joy and zest for the work. It feels like they’ve found their dream job, and that nothing is beneath them or too much for them. Their contagious enthusiasm — for even the smallest and most mundane of tasks — makes us want to work with them. They influence us.
The volunteer. This is that person who might have their own work to do, but who always steps up and says, “I’ve got this,” when a new project shows up, or when an unanticipated problem arises. They don’t complain, they don’t whine, they just handle things without a fuss. This type of person inspires gratitude in us. They influence us.
The prepared. This is that person who always shows up ready with all the facts and figures, who has done their homework (and then some), who is prepared to answer every question, who has set out to understand every little detail, who sweats the small stuff and the big stuff, and who does not provide excuses but provides answers. This person evokes respect in us, as we realize the sheer effort and thoroughness that went into their level of preparation. They influence us.
The gracious. This is that person who admits a mistake and does so publicly, who openly takes responsibility, who states what went wrong and why. It takes a big person to own a bad situation in public. This type of person holds themselves accountable to others, without anyone asking it of them. They pride themselves on their sense of ownership. We often forget what the person did wrong, and we are struck more by the courage of their words and the stand that they take. Heck, this person may even make us want to stand up and cheer loudly after they finish their apology-explanation. They influence us.
The good bad-news breaker. This is that person who can deliver bad news without turning the room upside down, without inducing panic. They can calmly state the problem, state the severity of the situation, and talk about the sensible resolution that they already have underway. This type of person inspires us with how they appear to be in total command of the situation, even of the bad news itself. We want to stand up and cheer for how they handle adversity. They influence us.
The curious. This is that person who asks questions, who’s eager to know how something works, who does not mind what other people think of their level of expertise or ignorance, but who is simply burning to know the answer, to get to the truth. They are consumed by curiosity. For them, satisfying their curiosity is more important than worrying what others think. This person inspires us with their fearless curiosity — they just have to know how something works. They influence us.
The problem-solver. The thinker. The enthusiastic. The volunteer. The prepared. The gracious. The good bad-news breaker. The curious.
These people may not have a title, they may not have tenure, they may not carry official authority, but their conduct carries something more profound and more impactful — influence.
We want these people in the room. We grab them for input. We seek their voice. We want them at the table where decisions are made.
Their influence turns them into leaders.
