I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP…

But you might not get it.

“blue plastic robot toy” by Rock'n Roll Monkey on Unsplash

*groan*

Seriously though, I’ve had one crazy month and could use a good laugh (not like that bad one above).

1972 — Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.

and one of my personal favorites:

1983 — Bjarne Stroustrup bolts everything he’s ever heard of onto C to create C++. The resulting language is so complex that programs must be sent to the future to be compiled by the Skynet artificial intelligence. Build times suffer. Skynet’s motives for performing the service remain unclear but spokespeople from the future say “there is nothing to be concerned about, baby,” in an Austrian accented monotones. There is some speculation that Skynet is nothing more than a pretentious buffer overrun.

One more for the road:

A programmer goes to the shop to buy some milk. His wife calls and says “While you’re out, get some eggs.” and he never returns …


Originally published at tinyletter.com.