Want #NeverBiden Holdouts to Join #TeamJoe?
Take it from this Bernie voter: Show them some respect.
Accepting defeat is hard. Here’s how you can ease the transition from adversary to ally.
When Bernie Sanders suspended his campaign in April, forlorn Bernie supporters were immediately directed to “vote blue no matter who.” As a forlorn Sanderista myself, my reply was, “Give us a minute.”
Three months later, in the midst of the sea of wreckage formerly known as the United States of America, most Sanders supporters would saw off their left arm if it meant we could oust Trump from the White House. Few remain in need of convincing to cast a lesser evil vote for Biden but…we need those few to come around too to help deliver a win so decisive that any attempt by Trump to cast doubt on it will look ridiculous.
But there’s a wee problem: When you try to convince someone to do or believe something, they get defensive and double-down in their opposition. This isn’t unique to so-called “Bernie bros”, it’s part of the human condition. If you want someone to consider the merits of what you’re saying, put aside your agenda and have a friendly conversation.
Listen to their reasons for refusing to vote for Biden. Put yourself in their shoes –if you believed a certain candidate was the one and only person capable of plugging the hole in our ship only to see that candidate defeated by someone you believe drilled that hole, would you feel conflicted?
Respect their feelings, even if you don’t share them, and understand the following:
Bernie supporters are grieiving.
Grief has five stages: Denial (“I can’t believe he dropped out”); anger (“The Democratic establishment screwed him over again”); bargaining (“Maybe Biden will drop out and Bernie can run”); depression (“Progressives will never win and our country is doomed”); and acceptance (“This totally blows but we have to make the best of a horrible situation”). Bernie supporters are at some stage of this grief process, and understanding their emotional state willl help you navigate the conversation. (This is why I advised Biden enthusiasts to give us some time to cool off and come to terms with the wreteched reality).
Begin with questions like:
· What do you think Bernie would be doing right now if he were still running?
· What do you think Biden’s biggest weaknesses are?
· Do you think Biden has moved a little to the left because of Bernie’s campaign, or not?
They don’t like Biden
I know you know that, but I mean they really, really, really don’t like Biden. #NeverBiden people see Biden as the incarnation of every corrupt and hypocritical Democratic Party vice they’ve been complaining about for decades. It doesn’t matter if you think their negativity toward Biden is warranted or not — it’s real and it makes lesser evil voting a very bitter pill to swallow.
When someone says negative things about Biden, don’t try to convince them that Biden is, deep down, a good guy. And don’t say, “Yeah, but Trump is so much worse.” They know that. Instead, ask questions like:
· How do you see the similarities or differences between what would happen in our country with Biden or Trump as president?
· What are your fears of what would happen if Biden were President?
· What are your fears of what would happen if Trump were President?
· Are there any things in Biden’s record that you feel okay about it?
· Are there any things you think Biden would do better than Trump? How important are those things to you?
· What impact would you hope it has if you don’t vote at all? Do you see any downside to not voting?
(These last two questions are perhaps the most important questions you can ask because they will hopefully cause the other person to weigh the personal satisfaction of withholding their vote against the horrific nightmare of four more years of Trump).
Many of them believe Biden sexually assaulted Tara Reade
You may not, and that’s okay. But don’t try to discredit Reade or suggest that she concocted her story to help Bernie. I can’t really express how intensely this will infuriate people who believe Reade and see the response to her as an unfair smear campaign.
Don’t relitigate the accusations, and don’t say, “Yeah but Trump has sexually assaulted way more women.” They know that, and the whole situation is despair-inducing.
If they bring up Reade, you can ask questions like:
· When both candidates are accused of being sexual predators, does your conscience tell you that you can’t vote for either of them?
· Are there any circumstances where you’d vote for someone with a serious moral stain on their record?
They’re furious the newly minted Democratic Party platform doesn’t endorse single-payer health care
Given that 78% of Democrats favor single-payer and that millions of Americans are losing their health care in the middle of a pandemic, Biden and the party’s resistance to single-payer is a very big deal. You might ask:
· Is health care your number one issue or, if not, what’s your top issue?
· Do you have any hope that Biden might change his mind and sign a single-payer bill if it passes?
· If Trump wins, do you think he’ll keep trying to dismantle Obamacare?
They haven’t recovered from 2016
Many Bernie supporters believe that the DNC and mainstream media treated Bernie unfairly and that Bernie would have beat Trump (and that these past four years could have been a democratic socialist utopia instead of a complete shitshow).
Don’t relitigate the 2016 or 2020 primaries, and don’t deny that Clinton and Biden may have had some unfair advantages. And whatever you do, don’t blame Bernie’s (arguably prolonged) 2016 campaign for Trump’s victory. Instead, you can ask:
· Do you think the Democratic Party is beyond redemption or do you think there’s still some room for progressives to work within the party?
· What do you think Bernie’s motives were for dropping out and campaigning for Biden?
· Do you think there would be any chance of getting some progressive bills passed under Biden or not at all?
· Do you think Biden would reverse any of Trump’s executive orders, like the Paris climate accord or the Iran nuclear deal?
· Do you worry about what would happen if Trump gets to appoint another Supreme Court justice?
· If Trump wins, what kinds of things do you think we can do to try to block his agenda?
Once you’ve given the Bernie supporter a chance to voice their misgivings about voting for Biden, you can tell them why you’re voting for him. The aim here is not to convince them that you’re right and that they must vote for Biden — if you bring that agenda into the conversation, they will sense it, and will defend themselves accordingly.
Make it a story — your story of how you came to your decision — rather than an argument as to why they should make the same choice. Arguments, especially when laced with judgment and blame, cause minds to close; stories open them wide.
My personal story of why I’m voting for Biden
You’ll have your own and you may have more positive things to say about Biden than I do — that’s fine, you need to tell your own authentic story.
What I think you’re saying is that you can’t ethically bring yourself to vote for either of them. When it started looking like Bernie couldn’t win, my first thought was, “Oh my God, how can I possibly vote for Biden?” I spent a few weeks being so incredibly pissed off, and I might have stayed in that place except then all hell broke loose with the pandemic and it quickly became clear that Trump was just going to sit there and let millions of people die.
And I realized that having someone even remotely competent to deal with Covid was enough of a reason for me to vote for Biden. And then, when Trump started going full-blown authoritarian in response to the Black Lives Matter uprising, I really started envisioning the end of democracy, not just fearing it, like I have ever since Trump took office, but really seeing how it could happen, step by step, with Trump already laying the groundwork, sending in agents to attack and kidnap protestors, saying the election’s going to be rigged, lying constantly and attacking the media, and stacking the courts and government agencies with loyalists…I mean it’s absolutely out of the authoritarian playbook that that Yale historian Timothy Snyder talks about in his book, On Tyranny.
I was reading this article about how Hitler came to power and there were descriptions of Hitler’s behavior and rhetoric where you literally could swap in Trump’s name. It was the most chilling thing I’ve ever seen and absolutely convinced me that whatever huge problems I have with Biden are nothing compared to what Trump’s capable of. So at that point, my ethical qualms about voting for Biden just totally melted.
If Trump wins, then I think we’re facing millions of Covid deaths, total economic catastrophe and huge losses of our civil and political rights that will be very hard to get back. Once the judiciary is in Trump’s hands, I see that as really game over for abortion and marriage equality and labor unions and so many other things that I’m not willing to lose.
And I know he’s going to stand in the way of doing anything on climate which — I don’t even know what to say — it’s kind of like the end of the world. So with all that at stake, I know that if I didn’t vote for Biden and Trump won, I would never forgive myself. Even though I live in a solid blue state, I’m still going to vote for Biden instead of third party, because I think it’s important that he win the popular vote by a landslide so that it’s harder for Trump to claim that the election was rigged.
I’d probably leave it there. I wouldn’t even ask them if they agree with me — I’m simply sharing my perspective, and they can think about it later.
Here’s what I think about Biden
If someone asks me for my opinion of Biden after hearing my personal story, I’ll tell them the truth:
I think Biden’s an incredibly weak candidate and I’m not at all impressed with his record. At the same time, what I’ve seen lately, because of the pandemic and because of pressure from Bernie, is that he’s taking some stronger positions — like he called for rent and mortgage forgiveness which really surprised me because of how cozy he is with the financial industry. And he’s now saying he wants a public option which isn’t as good as Medicare for All, but I think it’s better than what we have and better than whatever Trump is going to try to do to destroy health care. I was also really happy to see AOC on his climate change task force because I really want the Green New Deal to go through.
And so my plan is to vote for Biden, try to get more progressive Democrats into Congress and then hold their feet to the fire and try to get some progessive legislation passed. I think they might feel some pressure to meet our demands in a way that Trump definitely does not.
Four ways my statements avoid triggering defensiveness:
1. They’re phrased subjectively, not as incontrovertible truth.
2. They acknowledge the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
3. They acknowledge Biden’s flaws.
4. They refrain from scolding the other person’s political purity.
This last point is key. Sometimes leftists come across as self-righteous and contemptuous of those who don’t share their beliefs. Clinton’s campaign consultant says that Clinton’s highly contemptuous “deplorables” gaffe cost her the election. No one is charmed by a finger wagging in their face — not Trump voters, not swing voters and not Bernie voters.
This habit of scolding ideological advesaries is exacerbated with so much of our political discourse now taking place online. Facebook is chockablock with obnoxious memes that preemptively blame “Bernie bros” for throwing the election to Trump. I’ve seen posts directed at Bernie supporters that literally say, “If you don’t vote for Biden, you deserve to die.” (Such posts invariably elicit a stream of nasty counter-attacks). The well has been poisoned.
If you’re in a public online forum, the most strident voice will likely interject to attack you and bully others into adhering to #NeverBiden orthodoxy. This will cue a Biden enthusiast to enter stage-right and browbeat all the “Bernie bros” for being immature, selfish idiots. If you can maintain your equilibrium without getting triggered and lashing back — and can model a constructive style of expressing yourself — go for it! Otherwise, try to carve out a less polarized space for the conversation.
If you can’t pull off a respectful conversation, that’s okay. You can bow out and do something else to oust Trump.
But please be mindful of your social media habits, and don’t share posts like this that, while well-meaning, serve to antagonize #NeverBiden people.
The Left has a reputation for arranging ourselves into a circular firing squad where we obsess over our differences — small and large — while the world burns. (I say this as someone who’s become ensnared in more time-consuming left-on-left Facebook sparring than I’d care to admit).
One of the factors that facilitated Hitler’s rise to power was the bitter in-fighting between Germany’s two main leftist parties. As the historian Victor Ullrich described, “[T]hey were fatally divided, spending at least as much time fighting each other as they did trying to stop Hitler from establishing a dictatorship.” Chilling words with powerful reverberations for a nation that now finds itself inching precariously close to democracy’s cliff edge.
Erica Etelson is a voting rights organizer and the author of Beyond Contempt: How Liberals Can Communcicate Across the Great Divide (New Society Publishers 2019).
Grateful acknowledgement to Sharon Strand Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, for her contributions to this article.
