How a Comedian Came to Own a Football Team

I am a stand-up comedian, and I’m the new GM of a football team in the IFL. But aren’t we all?

Actually, we are. The idea behind this particular team is that fans will vote on every decision, from hiring personnel to the plays called on-field to what the uniforms look like. I’d tell you what city the team will be playing in, but the fans haven’t decided yet.

What the hell is the IFL? Great question, fellow GM. It’s the Indoor Football League! What the hell is the Indoor Football League? You’re asking some really important stuff. I’m glad we hired you.

The Indoor Football League is where the Iowa Barnstormers play. If you’re unfamiliar, that’s Kurt Warner’s old team. Dozens of NFL players have come out of the IFL, including Fred Jackson, Jorvorski Lane, and Mario Henderson. Teams in the IFL play in cities like Cedar Rapids, Billings, and Spokane and have names like the Nebraska Danger, the Colorado Crush, and the Wichita Falls Nighthawks. It’s football the way it was meant to be. And it’s awesome.

The first time I heard the idea of a fan-controlled team was eight years ago. As someone who is constantly yelling at my television (and people who are sitting near my television), I loved the idea immediately. Giving one fan control of everything would be ridiculous. But all the fans? What a wonderful world that would be.

NFL owners, GMs, and coaches have a storied tradition of screwing things up without our input. Chuck Pagano called an illegal fake punt. The Chargers drafted Ryan Leaf. The Redskins are still named the Redskins. The NFL’s history is wrought with “I could have done better than THAT” moments.

I loved the idea of a fan-controlled team so much, I wrote an article about it for the New York Times. But my article was as far as the “let’s buy a team and screw it up ourselves” movement got. This was 2008, before everyone had a smart phone or had apps, or knew what a smart phone or apps were. The idea was ahead of its time. Too bad. We could have avoided Jake Locker.

I abandoned the dream of it being our own damn fault when we lose, and assumed that magic would never happen. But then, eight years after I wrote that article, someone pretty important read it. It turns out a group with some major football chops wanted to try the fan-controlled model — and they’d already purchased the rights to an IFL expansion team in order to do so. So hot damn, it’s all happening. I’m as excited as I would be if Dan Snyder stopped speaking publicly.

The ownership group is a big deal — they’re not some burnouts living out a high school dream of throwing a football over a mountain. The team begins play a year from now, and the ownership group is headed up by former NFL players like Ray Austin, Ahman Green, and Al Wilson. On the business side is talent like former 49ers COO Andy Dolich and former head of NFL mobile Manish Jha.

This is not uncle Rico. This is a group of extremely intelligent, experienced people providing a new level of access that could change football (and other sports) forever. This is what I’ve been waiting for.

There’s also more to Project FANchise than just voting. (Yup, Project FANchise is the group’s name. Adorable, isn’t it?). When you vote, when you go to games, even when you buy a jersey, you will get points towards amazing experiences. Want to watch the game from the 50-yeard line? Or from the owner’s box? Or in uniform, from the sideline? Just be a big enough fan, and it will all be possible. For the first time in sports history, fans will truly be rewarded for their participation.

When I was approached about getting involved, it was a no-brainer. Which, coincidentally, is the amount of brains it took to call a fake punt with a wide receiver that had never practiced the play. So now, I am a minority owner of a football team-to-be-named-later. Functionally, so are you. And I am excited, because I trust us way more than I trust most people in charge.

You can go to ProjectFANchise.com right now if you want to vote on which city the team will play in (The IFL granted rights to Oklahoma City or Salt Lake City). If you think one city is a better idea than the other, go ahead and put us there — it’s your call as the team’s head of business development. And general manager. And offensive coordinator. And head of catering. Yeah, that’s right — you get to decide the concession stand menu, too.

We just ask one thing of you — please don’t draft Ryan Leaf.