You’re Not Supposed To Do It Perfectly
Part 2: Don’t be so hard on yourself
I gotta ask, who do you think you are, walking around here believing that in order to accomplish your goals, you have to be perfect in your execution?
Are you not human? Or have you descended upon Planet Earth with the sole purpose of showing us meandering wildebeests how it’s supposed to be done?
Is nothing worth pursuing if you can’t do it perfectly?
Of course not! You’re human and you’re supposed to fall down. You’re supposed to not get it right. You’re supposed to screw up and have bad days, it’s something we all unknowingly signed up for.
It’s important to understand this Universal truth because sometimes we’re pretty hard on ourselves when we feel like we’ve screwed up.
When we screw up we let ourselves have it. We let loose our inner critic and allow for all the damaging thoughts, words and actions to run us over. We even allow it to back up and hit us again.
Sometimes we even go as far as giving up, accepting a less than stellar fate. We believe our inner critic and all the horrible things it comes up with because it’s the truth. (Or so we think!)
Change The Narrative
When the going gets tough, our stories kick into high gear. Understanding that these stories we tell ourselves, that we believe, are all rooted in fear is the first step in reducing their powers.
When we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, that we’re too old, too young, too stupid, too overwhelmed, too stressed, too anything, that’s our inner critic using fear as a means to keep us exactly where we are: in our comfort zone (despite it being a miserable and uncomfortable environment for many.)
Despite wanting more, we stay where we are because we didn’t it do it right, we messed up, slipped and fell and what’s the point in getting up, it’s just not going to happen.
We ate the cookie. We skipped too many workouts. We berate ourselves when we mess up by belittling our efforts.
If you change your story, you can change your life.
I’m certain of this because I’m living proof. I’ve begun to challenge my inner critic after realizing how small I’ve allowed it to make me feel. For years I didn’t follow through, gave up too quickly, talked myself out of showing up every day because I believed I couldn’t do it. I simply wasn’t good enough so why bother?
This became my story. I wasn’t smart enough to get out of credit card debt, because I wasn’t talented enough at any one thing that I could build a career on. I fully believed that I would not make it, that I didn’t have it.
I became what I believed, not what I wanted.
That’s a big blow when you think about it. If I couldn't work towards achieving my goals and allow for setbacks, then what was the point of showing up and consistently trying to improve my situation? I put more stock into the setbacks, gave more power to my inner critic, and ended up feeling lousy and unworthy, frustrated and powerless.
All pointless. All wasted energy.
It made me afraid. And that’s what your inner critic wants you to feel.
You’re not going to get it perfectly right the first time, and you’re going to experience setbacks. But that in no way means you give your inner critic carte blanche to destroy your dreams. To belittle you and tell you-you're not good enough.
What is it that you want so badly but in the back of your mind your inner critic is there telling you a story that’s not in alignment with what you desire? What is your go-to story, the one that shows up when things get uncomfortable?
So when you’ve missed too many workouts to count, or you raided the cookie jar, don’t let your inner critic loose on you. Instead, tell yourself that yes, you messed up, but you’re getting back in the saddle because your goal is more important than anything your inner critic has to say.
And be done with it. Don’t get into berating yourself, it serves no purpose! Change your narrative and go for the things you think you can’t do but want more than anything in the world!
You can accomplish so much more once you begin to believe in yourself and change the stories you’ve created. Believe with all your might that you can have what you want.
And it’s ok if you don’t get there by doing it perfectly or the way others did it. You keep trying because you believe it can happen for you!
Begin believing in yourself so you can show up every day inspired by your goals, instead of being fearful of doing them, and doing them perfectly.
This is my second post in a three post-mini-series on how to create a powerful mindset so you can learn strategies that can take you from where you are now, to where you want to be. These strategies can help you go from 20 lbs overweight to being happy and confident in your body. It can help you to quit making excuses and take action every single day.
Looking for more strategies to help you set yourself up for weight loss success? Click here to learn my 5 strategies to achieve your fitness goals… without breaking a sweat!
AM Costanzo lives in Westchester NY with her two rambunctious boys and her all-around awesome husband. She is a motivational junkie, loves a-ha moments, and works hard to help women feel strong, powerful and downright fabulous in body and mind!