Love is the Positive Disintegration
Love can be your weakness or your strength
When we search for love, we can find every individual of any age will talk about what it is. In this expression, I just want to share my thoughts about what love is and how I always dreamt of it to be in my life.
As almost every entity has its way of existence, love is certainly unique than others because it is everywhere and no need to create it. Even love doesn’t know its name as love. We can never be able to define what it is. Scientists are researching every corner of the human body about how love exists.
Have you ever encountered when you get hurt by the person you love or the person you love dies, how do your body and mind feel? For me, it felt like agony and even with that agony, I can remember how it felt. When I experienced it, it felt like the situation is undoable and your mind keeps telling you that you cannot change what happened but the pain comes from your heart. As you remember memories, your heart starts to pump sadness into all parts of the body along with blood. I was not able to understand is there anything to do with hormones or is it a mystery?
Similarly, when you spend time with the person you love the most and share moments, you don’t feel about time that is passing on. You feel 60 mins like no time and your mind carves for more time and wishes you had some more time. I felt that feeling for almost 3 years every day even when we fought together so many times. Now, if I remember the past 3 years, it feels like it passed like 3 days. Still, I wish to go back to that moment forever and reliving it again and again forever. I completely forgot about myself and never even knew there are other people in my life as well.
So, what is love in that case, is there any definition for it? How can we define it scientifically and logically? Is love a weakness or strength? All these questions just pop up every time we feel about it and hear the word.
Nature of Love
Every living creature possesses love and it is a beautiful feeling to have. It always is every human nature possible. It ties humanity, compassion, care, trust, gratitude, happiness, contempt and positivity together. Furthermore, it brings joy, craziness, sturdiness, selfishness, music, uncapped happiness, inspiration, admiration, and special feeling and leaves with grief, pain, memories, disintegration, wake up call, purpose.
There are 3 natures of love.
- Before love: We will be happy and Independent
- In love: Selfish, Self-Centric, and Unstoppable
- After love: Regrets, Memories, and Self-Preservation
It comes without any warning and stays by giving all the hopes and goes by giving purpose. I am not specifically talking about any relationships here, I am just considering love as love itself. This can be between Parents and Children, Students and Teachers, Brother and Sister, Lovers, Friends.
I am being skeptical about love for some time now and nothing is wrong or right in this concept which I love to share. There is a special kind of love that exists between very few and can’t be seen often in our lives. It is an Unconditional Love. It is not about loving unconditionally. Loving unconditionally and Unconditional love has got different meanings. Loving unconditionally means, you are loving the person you love the most and unconditional love is what you receive from the same person.
I loved my friend unconditionally and still, I do. That was the best 3 years I spent with her in my life. Reality is, that kind of love doesn’t last in our Indian society.
What to do before loving someone?
When you get it right, love can be your strength no matter what it always gives you the power to live and get back into. If we lose ourselves at any point in time due to some painful situations, love is the feeling that helps you get back to you. You can not only love a person unconditionally, but unconditional love also exists between the things you do in your daily life like reading books, writing novels, articles, essays. It also exists between you and your passion and the things you do in your life. This is called self-centric love. It makes you feel self-aware internally. Loving yourself is the best thing you can do before loving someone in your life.
In my experience, I started loving my best friend before loving me and that resulted in the greatest disaster later on in life. I left my all spirits down when she walked out of life. She chose her life partner without any warning. That time I was still constructing dreams of my own to spend time with her happily. I was dreaming about traveling around the place, doing her photoshoots, gifting her software that we have always desired to create, taking her to places where she can buy lots of books, to create a source where she can live with all of her freedom by drawing her emotions on the drawing board with infinite color combinations. I wanted to see her smile every day I woke up. I dreamt of going for the shopping of clothes with unlimited access without any constraints of money. I wished to fill her wardrobe with new dresses where she looks cute and happy. I wanted to keep her happy and comfortable.
Everything changed by her single decision in the past that made a lot of changes in my life. That is where I understood I have to love myself first before putting someone in front of me. Saying “Me before you” have outstanding outcomes. It creates space for you and for the person you love the most. In facing problems, In considering priorities, Loving.
When you use this saying, you put yourself in facing hard times instead of putting the person before you. In giving priority, if you consider yourself first, you will understand what other person needs and their wants. When you love yourself, this is the best chance you have got to understand how to love others. This might be a self-centered approach but it has its value in the world of love.
Love with no limits and understand what it is. If you want to truly love someone unconditionally, measure your possibility. If you can love yourself unconditionally then you can give that kind of love to anyone who deserves it.
Positive Disintegration:
Loving someone is a good thing, loving yourself is better and the influence of love is the best thing that can ever happen to you. We all know about love and when it leaves, it breaks a heart. Pain is unexplainable. Sometimes in extremes, it may lead to a psychological disorder as well. We will be vulnerable when we lose the person we love the most.
To handle those situations, we need to align ourselves with human emotions. The best thing we can do is, we can share all the feelings with someone and cry harder. This gives better strength from inside when we let the sadness of pain flow through words. We can also write down on a sheet of paper as well.
After a while, pain eases out. To survive up to that level is a challenging task. To some, these are challenging situations and for others’ life or death situations. I am not here to talk about how we get out of this kind of situations, I am only talking about what happens if you get out of this survival period.
When you start feeling better and got adjusted to the pain that is in your heart and memories flowing through, your muscle in the mind works hard and become strong. The more strong the muscle you have, the smarter you become and less vulnerable to bad emotions. You start to think that love is not everything and it is a weakness for the person. It seems weakness to the person who failed in it. The person who lives in it says it as a strength. Till now, it is not certain whether love is a weakness or strength. As a neutral person both got its advantages.
People who lost their love or failed in it, tend to achieve more in life rather than the person who is in it. It always depends on who you want to become. If you are satisfied with what you have and you want to be in your zone, love is a good thing for you. If you are set out to achieve something big in life and want to set an example for your generation, start loving yourself and the things you work with unconditionally. Neither is wrong. It is all about what you want.
This is positive disintegration, where you come to the stage of using loving to its strength which helps you to grow and help others who are suffering from the same pain.
What is love? What it is in broader perspective?
As I understand in many ways, love is the purest form of achievement. The whole world is tied with an invisible glue that is love. It may be an unscratchable itch but still it has its own emotion.
Every one of us have our goals to achieve. Love becomes weak when we fail to understand its meaning and the value. Love is an emotion which stands above all the religeon, faith, visions and greatness. When we try to experience without knowing its value, it loses it.
To get the true love in our life, we have to get past the level where we deserve to be in it. When we think our temporary chemical changes in our body as love — the most of us do that these days. True meaning of love is getting faded. Every physical touch we feel from our partner or from any of the person we love, should deserve a perfect connection between minds.
Where there is no connection between minds, every physical pleasure we have with it just distracts us from being who we are and wh we might wanna become. This is where Love makes you weak for wanting its power without knowing it. This is the stage where you get disintegrated, your heart breaks and your life changes.
As long as you respect the love and understand the true nature of it, it will be your strength and always be beside you. Understand every feel you feel when you are in love with someone. Respect the feel and try to be mindful in your moves. You need to be deserved to get that pure and true love. Don’t knock the door of it. True love will come knocking your door when you truly deserve it. If you go knocking, it will cast you out for heart break.
Conclusion:
For a brief note, I just want to say about love, there us no words we can say or to narrate about it. It can be defined as an emotion that constitutes living creatures to stay connected. Love bonds us all and where there is love, there are uncertainties, fights, war, hatred, ego, pride, and envy but it is again more powerful to defeat each of them.
Binding together in life is an eternal sacrifice of a person to person who at some point writes the history or destroys it. Love is the weapon of prosperity which defines every other emotion in our life.
