Are Fresher Lion Tamers truly ready to manage Lions after watching ‘Learn Advanced Lion Taming Master Class in 6.9 Hours’?

Photo by Ansie Potgieter on Unsplash

more and more Multinational Circus Companies are now certifying their fresher employees as ‘Lion Tamers’ after a single day of training, thanks to compressed, brief and free online YouTube tutorials.

In an age and time long ago, learning how to tame lions was a complex and time-consuming process.

1. First, the future lion tamer would go through some kind of a ‘Bachelor in Lion Taming’ degree at a university for 4 years.
2. During those 4 years, the lion tamer was expected to put in extra effort to learn everything from feeding a lion 3 times a day to performing complex surgical procedure to maintain the health of the king of the jungle. There are stories of student lion tamers spending anywhere from 10 to 20 hours every week, burning the midnight oil.
3. Further, after hiring a fresher lion tamer, IT companies would normally proceed to allow the future lion tamer to learn the specific skills required from a senior lion tamer or at least a lion tamer coach or lion tamer tutor. This could take anywhere from 4 weeks to 16 weeks, depending on the size and complexity of the lions that need to be tamed in the future.

However, a new innovative concept called ‘self-learning’ and ‘honestly, we don’t care anymore if employee gets eaten by lions’ aka HWDCAIEGEBL, all this is no longer required.

For circus companies, this means, they no longer have to worry about spending thousands of coins to maintain a functioning training division.

There is of course, the issue of lion taming coaches and their massive egos.

For decades now, lion taming coaches have received any number of complaints about their perceived superiority and demands. Specifically, circus companies highlight the following specific complaint that lion coaches are always talking about.

“It is not possible to teach feeding lions, brushing their hair so they look clean and majestic and also lion departure to another circus, in 2 hours. It’s just not possible.”

Another related complaint from experienced lion taming coaches, was also mentioned.

“Wait a second. You want me to teach Lion Taming for the first 8 days. Then, immediately take care of Raptor Hunting for the next 5 days. Then, also make them learn how to feed Pigeons and Butterflies in the last 2days. These things are totally unrelated. How does that even work?”

Ultimately, circus companies are the happiest now. At least, in the past, they still had to deal with animal coaches to record tutorial videos.

However, now, thanks to any number overzealous animal coaches who are happy to share the videos for free or for a small fee over the internet, training is now either cheap or free.

Perhaps the ultimate losers are the Fresher lion tamers themselves.

Most of them have already spent 4 years at their university doing important things like chatting day and night with hundreds of friends on dozens of apps, watching funny memes on the internet and generally enjoying life.

They cannot be blamed. It’s youth! They have to enjoy life to the max even if it means their future itself is getting screwed.

Many of them have secured a job after by-hearting aka mugging up, things like ‘Top 10 Interview Questions about Lion Feeding” and “50 different types of Lion Diseases and Cures” from the internet.

Already, the wind is blowing towards a future where, fresher lion tamers can be expected to, ‘Learn Advanced Lion Taming Master Class Part Two in only 69 Minutes or Less’.

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