Pretend Speak like an Experienced Developer — 4
Use these casual developer dialogues to increase your ‘developer’ level. general warning: yawning loudly and for extended durations in front of the entire team can help get uninvited from future meetings of similar boredom.
“Are we still arguing about my penchant to use entity framework in all my projects. Yes, I know there is a performance hit. Yes, I know having stored procedures will make things faster. Yes, yes, yes, you are far better than me at SQL. Anyway, I have to go return my library book now, so…alright then”
“The secret to a good password for the database server is to use a combination of random numbers and characters. Yet, what if I want to a bit of meaning to it. That is why, I always pick a word or a phrase from any local language in India. India has more than 14 official local languages. Then, you transliterate a word from any of these languages into English, and add some random letters and characters, and…boom! You have a secure password that is easy to remember but almost impossible to brute hack”
“So, this intern was arguing with me that for his final year project, he will build an entity framework provider for mongo db. I burst out laughing immediately. Kids these days. They will say anything and everything without thinking twice, don’t they. Come on kid, the whole point of mongo db is to avoid having relationships. And you keep forgetting that EF is a relational mapper.”
“I have been using the Microsoft Docs, and MSDN before that, tutorial on web api for the last 10 years. Yet, not once has the tutorial given me all the steps to get whatever output they are trying to present. Why, Microsoft? Why do you do this? Please. Please. Just put me out of my misery.”
One year passes.
“I have been using the Microsoft Docs, and MSDN before that, tutorial on web api for the last 11 years. Yet, not once has the tutorial given me all the steps to get whatever output they are trying to present. Why, Microsoft? Why do you do this? Please. Please. Just put me out of my misery.”
“This week, I got an invitation to apply for job that requires .NET 3.0. Not, .NET 3.0 Core. I am talking, .NET 3.0, from the 90s and 2000s. How would that even work. Do we steal a windows XP computer from one of the bank ATMS or what?”
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