A Remedy for Resolution
In response to Coffee Challenge: Why I want to be a better me in 2022
Usually, I am not the resolutions type, but this year is different. This year it could change my life.
Mental illnesses take so much from us. Personally, I feel as if I’ve lost countless years and my identity to the sickness in my head. So many afternoons wasting away on a couch, and nights that never seem to offer any rest. Moments of relief do wiggle their way through, like seeing one’s breath in the cold. I can literally perceive my exhalation sprawl out into the arctic air and enjoy watching it become an invisible force of dissipating emotional toxicity.
Suffering under anxiety, depression, and all their nasty bedfellows is like having my mouth bolted shut, disallowing me from taking those big breaths, instead of swallowing it back down into my belly for it to become the bile that sustains the thoughts, chemicals, and feelings that encompass my mental anguish. Acidic spurts of self-loathing and rib-kicking that only cease long enough to trick me into thinking I have it under control.
Now, I understand more of what makes me tick, and what my individual struggle with mental health is. The humanoid machinations at play click and turn their cogs in just enough of the wrong ways to keep me from truly living my…
