Because We Are All Connected
In response to Coffee Challenge; Why I am a pro-shout-out movement
I made circles on the dusty ground with my shiny black shoes, avoiding any eye contact with other children playing around me. It was my third day of 5th grade at a new school, in a strange town far away from all the comforts I had known and grown to love. Even the crisp autumn air seemed like a stranger in my throat. I felt breathless.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a group of girls in their neatly ironed uniforms, whispering and giggling. My heart skipped a beat. Are they pointing at me? I really shouldn’t have made this silly French plait. I must look so stupid. I wanted to disappear into the suffocating air.
The basketball coach gave a whistle and beckoned all the girls to gather around the middle of the court. I stood just outside the periphery — close enough to the crowd as to not stand out but far enough to avoid all social contact. I felt like a pariah as others around me effortlessly chatted, laughed loudly, and gave each other high fives.
“Amina, step forward. Sidra, you too.”
Two girls confidently strode to the center of the court.
“Choose your team by calling out the names of the players. Amina, you go first,” said the Coach, pointing at the girl with a high ponytail. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I am sure I will be picked last.
“Maria.”
I am focused on a gregarious myna singing on the branch of an amaltas tree nearby. I thought I had heard an echo of a familiar name. I looked up to see twenty pairs of eyes staring at me. Wait. I am Maria. I felt my intestines crawling in my abdomen.
I heard some whispers.
“That’s the new girl.”
“The one who moved from out of town.”
Was this a mean joke? Was this Amina really a bully and this was her way of making fun of me by picking me first?
“Maria, come and stand by me,” Amina said with a broad smile and pointed to a spot next to her. And the rest, as they say, was history.
If I say it was a life-changing moment, I would be, frankly, exaggerating. But it was definitely a significant moment in my then ten-year-old life. That day I played the best basketball I had played. Or so I thought. I think I might’ve dunked several times flying almost ten feet in the air. Or at least that’s how I felt.
That single shout-out by a fellow classmate made me soar. As a new kid on the block, that warm gesture of acceptance rose me, lightened my feet, brightened my heart. I smiled more broadly being part of a team. The touch of those high-fives was electrifying. I felt accepted, heard, and acknowledged.
That was when I found out the palpable power of a shoutout. I felt its energy. It’s power. Shoutouts create a space of acceptance and reinforce our self-belief.
Two days ago, I marked my first month anniversary on Medium. I am still somewhat the new kid on the block. My “Amina” here on Medium would have to be Ravyne Hawke.
I had been standing on the margins of Medium just looking around, reading profiles, articles but hesitating to say something. Until I saw Ravyne’s prompt on the Promptly Written Publication. And when she accepted and published my essay, I felt like the kid who played her best basketball many years ago. Ravyne, your support, comments, claps are all much, much appreciated.
My “coach” on Medium would have to be my friend, Zaha Hyatt who orchestrated the whole invitation to set up this game, who urged me to join Medium and has cheered me on since I joined this amazing “team”.
I also want to thank the writers and editors who accepted my essays in their publications and those who engaged with my pieces: Kiersha Larson, Scot Butwell, Robert Ralph, Filiz Özer, Mehak Anjum Siddiquei, Ali, Dr. Preeti Singh, Winston, Carrie. A. Kelly, Justjulieandherblog, Benny Lim among others. Your generous claps and comments have made this a delightful start.
As a strong believer in shoutouts myself, I was immediately drawn toward the Coffee Times Movement. I can’t think of a better way to build a community that is inclusive and celebrates the efforts of its members than the Shoutout! Writing is often a lonely process. All of us carry stories in our heads as we go about our day and then sit by ourselves on our laptops, pouring our hearts out. These words are written not only to satisfy our passion but are also our way of reaching out, waiting to be heard.
As I wrote elsewhere in an essay, “Whenever we read or write, words heal us, excite us and most importantly, connect us. They allow us to welcome each other into our messy, beautiful worlds. They let us share the joy and pain we are feeling. And they let us, complete strangers, to cross each other’s life paths as we tumble, run and crawl our way knowing that we are not alone.”
And that, I believe is what Coffee Times is doing for us. Connecting us. What better way to really forge these connections than to give a shoutout to our fellow writers who make our days less lonesome, who make us feel heard and who make the experience of writing more joyous. Whether we are newbies or veterans, the sense of a connected community is what will make each of us the best version of ourselves. Shoutouts are a fun, effective way to keep our connections strong!
Here’s the article that marked my first step:
