Insomnia’s Rhapsody

Love by the Moon

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

I try to sleep because I have to.

My body doesn’t want to. My mind doesn’t want to.

But, listening to what they want results in consequences the next day —

I’ll sleep all day.

My family will worry.

The world of errands and responsibility will operate while I restlessly dream.

The night will return, the world will go back to sleep and I’ll be up.

Up and alone. Awake and unable to handle anything adults should do.

So, I try and sleep.

I wrestle with guilt.

I drown in frustration.

I desperately try to sleep because I have to.

If I don’t —

I could try and find productivity with the moon but what of the sun’s societal demands?

So, I live in the constant cycle of pleasing the sun even though the moon beckons me to play and dance.

I respect the sun.

I love the sun.

The moon and I, though, are kindred. I’ve told her my secrets and shared my pain. I’m comfortable with her and she knows my name.

I try to live by the sun while continuing my rendezvous with the moon.