No One Can Fight Your Fight
Expecting is Obligation
I have heard from my mom how disappointed my father and his family were when I was born as a girl, a dark one too. Ironically, it was his color I had inherited. Growing up, I saw the dark side of domesticity with physical, mental, and emotional abuse.
It was my dream to become a medical doctor since childhood— being used to nursing the black and blue bruises of my mom. But, I was denied even though I secured my name on the merit list. Still, I went on to become the first graduate in my paternal khandaan(clan) though not a doctor.
I wanted to pursue post-graduation but was married off to a man about whom nothing was known except that he is khanddani (reputed and known clan) and educated. Out of the 25 years of my married life he worked only approximately 9 years, that too intermittently. So, after 6 years into the marriage and with two kids, I got a job despite strong objections and threats of in-laws, to break the shackles of obligatory life under the so-called caring ones.
I later completed my M.A and B.Ed all the while working both at home and school, rearing kids, and facing emotional and mental abuse in every possible way. I remember the times when my closet used to be locked just before I needed to get ready to go to work. No clothes, no going to work while husband is at home jobless, which was considered a sacrilege to the family honor.
But, I never gave up my job. I fought silently, I was scorched in their verbal ire, but they could not turn me to ashes. Today I live a life of dignity and self-respect sans any obligation and humiliation.
I may not be rich in bank balance and never had anyone to depend on but I am self-reliant. I do not want to burden even my kids. So, here I am who rejected a life of humiliation and chauvinistic mental torture by breaking many social norms.
Because I never expected anyone else to fight my own fight. My affirmations always are — ‘Don’t ever give a chance again for anyone to take advantage of you or put you through the guilt trap.’
‘Never lean on people who sympathize, they are the worst suckers. People with empathy are rare and almost extinct.’
‘Expectation leads to obligation or disappointment. So, never expect, coz getting the unexpected can bring joy.’
This story is in response to the Ravyne Hawke’s prompt —
Affirming Joy. Daily positive affirmations | by Ravyne Hawke | Promptly Written | Medium
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