The Art of Being Still
Reflections on accepting yourself from quotes by Walt Whitman
“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.”
— Walt Whitman
I think we all have trouble with the word enough. Speaking for myself, I have a hard time with the word enough.
There is a compulsivity in us — I mean, in me — that feels like we need to strive for more and doesn’t know how to stop and be comfortable with enough.
But enough is enough.
Walt Whitman said, “I exist as I am, that is enough.” It is enough to just exist, just as you are, without overthinking or striving for more, right?
I like that. But it’s not easy to accept.
Whitman also said, “I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.”
Susie Sarandon’s character Annie Savoy quoted this at the end of Bull Durham to a minor league pitcher played to Tim Robbins, her lover for the season, along with other lines of poetry that summer.
Or it’s a paraphrase of what Whitman said to a friend in 1888 about our then- infant national game of baseball. Here’s what he actually said:
“I like your interest in sports ball, chiefest of all base-ball particularly: base-ball is our game: the American game. I connect it with our national character. Sports take people out of doors, get them filled with oxygen generate some of the brutal customs (so-called brutal customs) which, after all, tend to habituate people to a necessary stoicism. We are some ways a dyspeptic, nervous set: anything which will repair such loses may well be regarded as a blessing to the race. We want to go out and howl, swear, run, jump, wrestle, even fight, if only be doing we may improve the guts of the people: the guts, vile as guts are, divine as guts are.”
I’m not sure exactly what Whitman is saying, but I think he is saying we need to think less and get outdoors more and fill our lungs with oxygen and lose some of stoicism and natural discontent and learn to just sit still and watch a ballgame with a friend and let that be enough.
I think he is saying we have a compulsivity with doing and, perhaps, the root cause of all our striving — at least of mine — is I have a difficult time with accepting myself — of being able to say, “I exist as I am — that is enough.”
I already said this once — sorry for repeating myself.
I feel like I have to do something, watch something, write something to be enough. I can’t just sit and look at the changing colors of leaves. To close my eyes in the woods, lean against a tree, close my eyes, and to do nothing.
That is hard for me — but I did it last week and it felt great.
When is the last time you sat still and did nothing? Or shut off your mind and your constant doing like Whitman in these lines from Leaves of Grass:
“Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open roads
Healthy, free, the world before me.
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good fortune, I myself am good fortune.
Henceforth I whimper no more,
Postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms.
Strong and content I travel the open road.”
I think when we get to this point, of being able to sit still and do nothing or be afoot and lighthearted and to see ourselves as good fortune — we can accept ourselves—and then we can enjoy one of the simplest gifts of life.
To just enjoy being with those we like and accepting them with the same acceptance we’ve given to ourselves. This is what I think Whitman is saying when he says, “I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.”
It is, according to Whitman, a learning process, something that takes years and wearing many masks, to accept yourself and others, and to get to this point where it’s enough to be with others you like.
You don’t have to strive or to try to accomplish something today. You can just appreciate being with those you like and to have that to be enough.
I hope you’ve found a person — or a few persons — you’ve learned to be with those you like, including yourself. Even if it is just one person — it is enough.
And if you haven’t found that/those people, you are enough.
Thanks to Ravyne Hawke for the writing prompt for November 15–21. I need these to get me writing and to explore my thoughts.
I share my thoughts on my first three weeks on Medium on my YouTube channel. It is focused on how Medium has improved my writing and how it can also be addictive in a good/bad way, depending on how you use it.
