POETRY: MISCELLANEA
Walking Backwards
To S.
you found me elsewhere
and you don’t even realise
that I have changed
while you assume
that the same naïve girl from ten years ago
picked up your phone
it’s not me, my name has changed
my body is going
a remote path —
reverse reflection in your rear-view mirror
from a long-hauled truck
you are skilled at
we blocked each other’s energies
when we were together
you can’t be with a family man
and count on him all the time
so, our goals were colluded, crushed, collided
but we tried to hold on
our bond with each other
there was no bond, just addiction
sex, protection, vivisection
of our feelings futile freak show
where else could we go
than to the oblivious ominous orgy?
I remember it well, so I reminisce
that I never want to find myself
in the same shoes
as the ones I’m wearing now are enough
for my needs
the same as I was for you
take what you want from the memories
they are free, so take it
and leave this relationship
for me to describe
as it is no longer true
as I used to be for you
but you never fully groove on
trashing the tiniest thread
tiresomely
throwing us
to be devoured by the beast
ignominiously
