How A Familia Taught Me About Family
with the love of food ❤
The obsession
Every day at around midday, I think to myself, “Today might be the day! You never know.” However, the day that I get tired of Mexican food still has not come. Ah yes, another day, another Door Dash order. I can hear the satisfactory crunch of flautas and the queso is like edible gold.
As I dip my perfectly thin and crispy chips in everything the plate has to offer, I hear a voice from the past. “Why is guac extra when it’s just smashed avocado with seasoning?” That’s the first thing my friend asked me after I told him why I barely ate guacamole.
Food Scarcity
I start remembering Acre Chalet Apartments, where we lived, with its stained ceilings and paper thin walls. Acre Chalet was a cluster of old, rundown apartments that looked like a four year old was experimenting with Minecraft. Kids used upside down shopping carts for basketball goals. Food from the local gas station was a culinary delight in my world.
Meals should have been readily available with food stamps, but not with a mother who had other “substances” on her mind. Most days we resorted to ramen noodles or sandwiches. My idea of Mexican food at that time was canned hot tamales. My sisters and I would sing “hot tamales, hot tamales, boiling in a pot! Hot tamales, hot tamales, get em’ while they’re hot!”
Visting Quamae’s
This is why walking into Quamae’s house was such a culture shock. I remember the first time I visited, there were bags of maize for corn tortillas on the counter. I said, “Yall have a lot of cornbread!” As soon as we stepped through the door, we were greeted by the vibrant sounds of lively music and the delicious smell of food cooking.
We found Quamae’s “familia” at the counters, rolling out tortillas with seasoned meat, red sauce, and more. They were saying the same words I had heard before like “salsa”, but in a different way. “Saal-ssaah.” If you know, you know. Since that day, I had felt a sense of hospitality I had never had before. Each time, the family/familia wanted to feed me- and I mean FEED ME.
It wasn’t just the food I grew to love. It was the memories that came with each meal.
Community
Quamae’s mom told me about her love for food and their culture. Of course, I can’t speak for every community, culture, or household, but I met a lot of Quamae’s community and all of their kitchens were warm in more than one way.
They saw the act of feeding others as human connection and community.
To this day, when someone asks me where we should go for a community vibe, I suggest Mexican. I never could clearly answer why guac is extra when it’s just a smashed avocado with seasonings, but I do know one thing…. I really want Mexican food now!
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