Say Goodbye To The Need To Please
Prose about healing from the need to please
I cannot remember how old I was when I wanted to do what was right. I wanted to please my family, my teachers and those connected to me. When I got older that same mindset continued with me while raising my children and even into my career.
I had no idea where the need to please came from. I used to think because I was the first born daughter I wanted to do the right thing and keep the peace within the family. As I have grown older the need to please was becoming a liability.
I’m not doormat, I always speak up for myself if needed. I was known to be friendly and all the other names that are given to people who feel the need to please. As a therapist, I have access to other therapists and psychiatrists at no cost.
I also recognize what I did not deal with would soon deal with me. I had to get to the root of why I needed to please, why I was the one who needed to show up at everyone else’s fight, help every wounded dog, or try to be the answer to everyone’s problem.
I was layered with the need to please. I began to peel the layers back and just like an onion it led to many tears, but they were tears of joy. I have not observed the need to please in men and most of my clients are men. I have observed the need to please mostly in women and especially in mothers.
I pray for myself every day but I cannot pray myself out of the need to please. I had to walk it out with no anesthesia, like no unhealthy habits or mental health medication. I wanted to understand where the need to please came from and how I could eliminate it from my life.
It’s been a twenty-year journey. I still have many miles to go but I’m on my way to being okay with not being an answer to everyone’s problem. I hope this prose will inspire not tire those who need to please. See it’s not about those you help but about the one who needs to heal.
It’s time to look within, there is no doubt the work begins.
Only you know the steps you need to take, if not you’ll break.
All the hard work you put in now it’s your turn to win.
How do help everyone and not consider you?
Take the time you deserve to do the work within.
Don’t hide from what you might see, shake the dust off and believe.
Don’t be deceived the need to please can leave and you can start to believe.
