You Are Not Alone
A short story to remind those that maybe in a lonely season or maybe experiencing loneliness during the holiday season
Life is a bully and it has friends ~Author
disclaimer: As a therapist, I would not try to make anyone feel as though I’m telling them how to feel or deny how they feel. I’m saying we have 27 different emotions scientists report and our feelings change all the time
When the word lonely is mentioned so often people jump to conclusions about why a person might be lonely or are suffering from loneliness. Other times life situations occur and a person is lonely due to the death of a long-time spouse. Life does not fit into this nice package, it can and will get messy, hurtful, confusing and yes as an adult you may want to run away.
Loneliness typically comes along with friends like depression, anxiety, lack of sleep and many other things that could be attached to it. One of the things I like to remind people of is that it can be temporary. There are a few things you can implement. Don’t talk about loneliness with endearing terms.
Do not build a house for loneliness it should be a temporary season, not a foundation that is built upon. Hopefully, loneliness especially during the holiday season should be like a small town with no stoplights. You should be able to stop at the four-way stop and keep right on going.
For some people it may take two or three small towns for you to recognize loneliness is not the place you want to camp out. I have heard some well-meaning people say “ I like to be alone” okay. I will not debate or try to convince anyone that having a community with emotionally healthy people has many benefits.
This story is about reminding those who experience loneliness that you can get out of the house if you are not bedridden, go volunteer in the community, or help someone else and it comes back in ways I can’t convey in a story. I’m not naïve to think everyone has the same environment or lifestyle. I do understand that life or people do cause some to be resistant to building community.
It is important to let people walk through whatever they have experienced at their own pace. I have had some things bother me, disappointment as well but when I got a revelation the person or the situation that caused harm went on with life I healed. I decided I would not be a hostage to anyone’s poor coping skills or trauma. I live with boundaries but I refuse to live lonely, bitter or unkind because of what someone else said or did.
Those situations or people do not get to choose if I’m happy, lonely or have community. I choose how I respond. The Christmas holiday is days away. I do hope those who have limited community will have peace, and enjoy the holiday season in the best way that makes you happy.
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