Thanks Pixabay

The Type of People You Should Always Avoid

Some people are just a joy to be around. The conversation flows effortlessly. You feel genuinely interested. You laugh. You don’t want the conversation to end and you also look forward to meeting them again. For the sake of simplicity, let’s call them elastics.

But there are also the people in the other end of the spectrum. The fixed minded people who can make anyone feel small. They are ones we wouldn’t want to do something stupid in front of. They are ones, in front of whom we wouldn’t want to do something stupid. Let’s call them the un-elastics.

Un-elastics don’t believe in change. If they believe they are bad at people skills, they are bad at it. There’s really no point in trying. If I view myself as an unfunny person, then I can never be funny.

So when an un-elastic is even partially good at something, she makes sure to let people know that she commands respect. This makes an un-elastic genuinely feel superior to the people she surrounds herself with. She needs to think in this way in order to feel good about herself.

So why are we talking about un-elastics?

The problem is, in the presence on an un-elastic, even the elastics start acting like them. Even in a close circle, every individual feels like the others are conspiring against him.

This is the reason why un-elastics can be uncomfortable to hang out. Their fixed state is tiring. They handicap our growth by putting us in a constant state of inadequacy. Their judgements are threatening to the point where we can’t take risks. Since we are kept so busy firefighting our own sense of worth, we rarely have the space to learn around these people.

For most of us, living in this hyper-competitive world, we care a lot about our own abilities and adequacies. But our perception of our own abilities is dependent on what other people think of us. We are social creatures who yearn for love and validation from the people around. Hence being around un-elastics royally screws our self-worth.

Why un-elastics behave the way the do?

The irony being, although un-elastics can come across as arrogant and superior, deep down it is their insecurity about themselves which forces them to behave in that way. What this means is that un-elastics crave the admiration and attention of the people they compete against. So one day they are trying to prove that they are superior to you and the next day they are super kind.

End note

So next time when you choose buddies to hangout with, think of who is comfortable with being vulnerable. The person who is flexible and willing to change. The person who will have a discussion without thinking the opposing point as — insult insult insult.

Being elastic starts within — by learning to laugh at ourselves and enjoying the fact that others can do the same.

P.S.

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