It’s time to take a personal depth year
Mastering the things I care about
It’s February — approximately 4 months away from my 1 year without a traditional day job. Almost 8 months ago, I got a call from the finance manager telling me that the company I worked for — the one where late nights and 3am wake calls was an expected norm — will no longer exist.
I remember feeling relieved but also angry at the same time. I had cut short my maternity leave to get back behind the desk. I stayed up late, woke up early, sat through hour-long commutes for everything to just suddenly disappear. Someone in upper management had pulled the plug and I went down the drain with it all.
Everything I had done, everything I had sacrificed, everything just turned into nothing. It was traumatic — especially when I just had a baby and was suffering the guilt of choosing work over being with her.
I went through an existential crisis.
I questioned my values, my life choices and everything that I’ve done to culminate in that singular moment. I had no portfolio, no clear history of technical skills in anything in particular despite being a tech team lead. The sacrifice of being higher up in the management chain meant that I get to see the thing I love come to life — but never have any actual, get your hands dirty kind of…
