Qurrent Live: Theresa Shares Her Thoughts On Being Queer With Disabilities, Sports & Her Best Pick-up Line

Paralympic Swimmer. Female. Lesbian. Fighter. These are the many hats worn by Theresa Goh, Singapore’s first female Singaporean swimmer to qualify for the Paralympics back in 2004.

As a public figure in competitive sports and a Pink Dot Ambassador, her national coming-out story marked a momentous step forward for the LGBTQ+ community in Singapore. In this month’s Qurrent Live spotlight, she answers questions previously contributed by the community and shares how it is like to be a queer athlete with disability, her taste in partners, and some of the struggles that have come to define her as a person.

When it comes to finding a partner, what gets your attention?

Are you trying to get my attention? Initially, I am attracted to a strong presence and a genuine smile. Later on, I look for kindness, confidence but above all, a chemistry that is quite elusive.

When did you come out to your family and what were their reactions individually?

I came out to my sister first when we were in secondary school. I told her about this classmate I thought I had feelings for, and my sister, in turn, told my mom. So, I had to lie at first and tell my mom that I meant I liked my classmate like a sister (but I don’t think my mom really bought it). A couple of years later, my parents told me they knew while we were stopped at a petrol kiosk. My mom turned to the back of the car where I was seated and said she and my dad just wanted me to find someone who can take care of me, and it didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl.

Basically, my family knew, so I didn’t really have to come out to them. They’re the best. I’m very, very lucky.

How did you deal with people who doubted your abilities, whether in your career or because of your gender?

To be honest, I feel like the main person who doubted my abilities in my career was myself. That one I had to learn about myself and talk to my sports psychologist on how to deal with that. It’s a learning process.

As for the people that I meet sometimes, who don’t believe I can swim or do certain things, think so more likely because of my disability, not my gender. When it comes to those people, I try and advocate the fact that having a disability does not mean my life sucks and it definitely does not mean I cannot do everything. In the end, I think the best thing I can do is to keep getting out there and doing all the things I love to do and want to do.

What is the one thing you wish more people knew about having disabilities?

It is hard to pick just one! I guess it would be that having disabilities doesn’t mean we cannot lead a “normal” life. When the world is built with mostly able-bodied people in mind, able-bodied people are going to be the ones able to lead a more independent and fulfilling life. The quality of life increases for more people when the world is built for more than just one group of people. So, please keep all of us in mind!

How do you prepare for training?

Mentally, physically, or what do I pack in my bag for training? I’m going to answer all three. Mentally, I try and psych myself up, which is especially useful on days I am really tired. On days when motivation is low, I first assess if I can afford a break, and if I can’t, I remind myself of my ultimate goal, whatever that is. I try to balance my time for work and for play as I think it’s important that I am generally happy because that translates into training.

Physically, I make sure I am well rested for each training session and I try to eat well and hydrate. In my bag, I make sure I have my portable charger in case I go out after training. Most of my friends know I am the person to go to if they need some phone juice. I also have an extra swimsuit, just in case I forget, and I always have deodorant and hair product.

Working out is so hard. Any tips on staying motivated?

It really is, and it is so easy to just stop and then it gets really difficult to start exercising again. Inertia is real. The key is to find something you enjoy. If you’re the kind that does better in a group, go join a team sport or a community that does regular activities. That way you can keep fit and make new friends. If you like to do sport on your own, maybe setting goals will help. Ultimately, make it fun!

Do you think that section 337A will ever be repealed and removed in the future, just like India?

Because you’ve caught me in an optimistic mood, I’ll say yes. I am hopeful, because of the incredibly brave people I’ve met or know of who are doing such good in the world. In my own capacity, I do what I can to make positive change on this earth while I am still here.

What are some of the most impactful events in your life that made you the person that you are today?

I think deciding on swimming as a career, and then doing this for 20 years, has definitely significantly shaped who I am as a person. There are also events that I perhaps wasn’t directly involved in that have made me who I am, for example, when my parents decided that they wanted me to lead as independent a life as I could and then taking steps towards that goal, for example, making light switches and sink heights my level so that I can do most things on my own.

More recently, I am really glad I chose to come out in the national papers. Even though I wasn’t really in the closet, the amount of weight it took off my shoulders was still incredible and life-changing.

What are your personal goals for the coming years?

I don’t have big aspirations or exciting dreams. In a general sense, all I want is happiness for me and my loved ones, and to get to the end of my life with as little regrets as possible. In a more practical sense, I aim to be able to drive soon one day, even though I have no money to buy a car. I’d also like to maybe retire from swimming competitively and move into another role that I can continue to share my knowledge and still be involved in the sports scene. Honestly, I haven’t given that much thought to it.

Bet you are a charmer! What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever used/heard?

You would lose that bet! I do have a favourite pick up line though: “Why did the penguin jump up and down?” To break the ice, hello I’m Theresa!

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