An Open Letter to My Wife
The post was titled: An open letter to my wife…I don’t want to be here anymore.
“I still remember the night we first met. You casually flirted with me. We were sort of on a blind date. It doesn’t matter. The electricity that ensued and the raw passion that followed was insane. We had a very wild night of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Hours of it,” posted Throwaway on r/adultery.
I read his post late one Sunday night, at 11 pm, when I should have been getting ready for bed. I never had that passion with my spouse, but I was intrigued. I kept reading.
“Now, 22 years later, we do the ‘don’t touch me dance’ in the kitchen.”
We do the “don’t touch me dance” shit, too.
“Am I that repulsive that you won’t even bump into me?” he wrote.
“Now we have separate bedrooms. Not my choice.”
We don’t touch even though we are in the same bed, I thought.
“All I have heard for the last 15 years is about how much money I haven’t made. You ended up a stay at home mother, not part of the financial plan, but it worked out better for our daughter. Something I don’t regret. I have tripled my salary. 3 job changes. I make 6 figures now. It is still not enough.”
Nothing is ever enough.
He continued, “You expect me to work overtime. I gladly do, for two reasons. Firstly, you claim we need the money, it tends to shut you up. Secondly, I don’t have to face you when I get home. A feeling that I hate to admit. There is more, much more.”
The hate being home part. This is a sign of the end. It must be.
“Can we revive this? I don’t think so. I know you have wanted to leave, although you haven’t told me directly. I wish you could be honest with me. We are co-parents of a lovely child, due for university shortly. I don’t want to dash her dreams, part of why I stay.”
My life, too, dude.
“Could I have been a better husband? Defintely. Am I perfect? Hell, no. Would I change things? In a heartbeat. I do not want to be where I am. I am not proud of what I am doing.”
Change the pronouns, and you have me, right here. I am appalled that I’m writing about adultery month after month. And, I’m not running out of material. This lifestyle is ripe for misery for so many of us.
“I am seeking what you can’t and won’t give me from another woman. I need to be loved. I need to be touched.”
That brought tears to my eyes.
Why are we denied? Why do we deny ourselves?
“I need to be told I’m handsome, even if I’m not. I have told you many times how beautiful you are. That I want you. That I desire you. It has fallen on deaf ears. I am now telling my potential affair partner, how much I want her, how much I need her, how beautiful she is.”
She’s so lucky, his wife, his affair partner to be told she’s desirable.
“All the things you don’t want to hear from me,” he finished with.
This is what so many long-term relationships come to. They arrive at the r/adultery finish line. There isn’t another ending in sight.
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