I Got Preferences, Just Like You
I ain’t 6'-4" and I like Big Boobs
The Spanish Inquisition is just cracking up. I see Tinder screenshots on r/Tinder where a chick asks a dude “how tall are you?” and he responds “how heavy are you?” They crack me up. Why? Because ya’ll stupid! Some chicks like tall men and some dudes like slender shaved bitches. It’s not against the law to like what you like!
For example, size Queens used to love The Spanish Inquisition’s hot dog. He’s Spanish after all so, his wiener was big. It was HELLA BIG! It was so big that they used to call The Spanish Inquisition by another name, his name was “Dragon Peter.” Why? Because he was always dragging his peter around behind him.
Heh!
Then he had bad luck and accidentally ordered some Penis Reduction pills from an advertisement he got in his email. Now his beefy member fits inside 90% of the hot vulvas that Mrs. Spanish Inquisition supplies for him.
Look, it’s OK to have preferences. We’re a bunch of horny apes that like other horny apes and there are things about each other that turns us on. So who cares if you’re a 5'-1" woman that likes creampies and guys that are 6'-4"? If his plowing of your fertile field begets you offspring, by the law averages your demon spawn should be around 5'-8". So win-win!
Guys, it’s ok to like height-weight proportionate ladies that don’t bleach their leather cheerio. The Spanish Inquisition likes ladies in all forms that have good hygiene and a not overly generous bush, but that’s me. Mrs. Spanish Inquisition likes generally tall men and covered in their spunk, so there!
Hell, it’s ok to be gender-fluid, put on a strap-on, and walk around with your partner on a dog chain if that’s what gets you both off. If you and your partner aren’t enough, add a third or fourth. It doesn’t matter because you got one stinking life, make it the best fucking (heh) life you can live.
Stop wasting your time complaining that some chick or dude gave you a snide or snappy remark just because you have a preference. Fuck’em, move on. Swipe next!
