Do you love yourself?

What is self-esteem? Why do we all seek higher self-esteem? It feels good right? Do you think you are narcissistic? Do you want to be more narcissistic? Probably not! What if I tell that our constant drive for self-esteem has led to the highest narcissism epidemic North America has seen to date. In this blog, I will discuss the concepts of self-esteem and narcissism as well as the solution for this epidemic.

I remember my parents praising my younger brother for everything he did. It got a bit out of control; they once started applauding him for sneezing properly. He was 5! They believed that excess praise would improve his self-esteem, which in turn will protect him from depression and anxiety that a lot of teenagers go through. I don’t want you to get me wrong; I am not advocating for people to have lower self-esteem. On the contrary, I believe that self-esteem is very important as it does protect from a lot of psychopathologies and negative psychological states. What I am addressing in this blog is the negative consequences of the excess of it. Psychological scales for both these constructs are very different which shows that both these constructs are completely unrelated. However it is inarguable that since the 1990s, when North American parents started focusing on enhancing their children’s self esteem, narcissism has been on the rise. The problem is the methods parents use to improve self-esteem. In her book ‘The Narcissism Epidemic’, Jean Twenge describes how nowadays parents focus on improving their children’s view of their self. She describes how a 16-year-old girl wanted a major road blocked so that her favorite marching band can precede her grand entrance on a red carpet. The focus on improving a child’s self-esteem leads to this inflated view of the self, which eventually leads to narcissism.

So what is the solution for this epidemic? Experts advise parents to start focusing on self-efficacy instead of self-esteem. Self-efficacy refers to an individual’s belief in his or her capacity to perform. Self-efficacy spurs confidence and an internal locus of control opposed to self-esteem that could lead to an inflated view of one’s self and ultimately narcissism.

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