The Wife Project

A 16 page questionnaire that will help Don Tillman find the ideal wife, without wasting time getting to know unsuitable candidates.

Don’t get me wrong. Don is not a misogynist that views women as commodities. He’s a nearing-forty efficiency-oriented autistic geneticist, who decides it’s time for him to find a lifelong partner. Problem: he hasn’t had a second date in… ever. So rather than waste more time failing to form a direct intimate connection with a woman, he devises a questionnaire test which he posts on a dating site, and waits for the perfect match. Oh, and I should probably mention that Don is a character from a book.

An excerpt from his test shows the humorous questions he asks:

Apart from the entertaining aspect of the test, there are several points that need to be noted.

The test is designed based on Don’s lifestyle and opinions, which in many respects are unique. He follows a Standardized Meal System, consisting of eating the same meal on a given night of the week so as to not worry about crowding his kitchen with too many ingredients, and disapproves of a preference for apricot flavored ice cream. To be suitable, the candidate’s choice of most important person in the twentieth century has to be Francis Crick, and they have to only use public transport to get around.

On one hand, Don wants someone with the same opinions as himself which he thinks will be easy to live with, but on the other hand he eliminates any kind of individuality the person has. Even if a woman does conform to the mold he’s laid out, there are so many factors that he doesn’t take into account. His questions are all practical, there are none about friends, family, jobs, the past, nor do they inform on whether or not the person will be interesting to interact with. He believes the test will help him find the one for him, but is completely stumped when he meets Rosie, who is the worst possible match on paper, and yet…

This goes to show that as useful as tests can be, they cannot replace human interaction. By using a test to determine the suitability of a person for a job, partnership, or even relationship, you could be bypassing some key elements that cannot be qualified in a few words on a multiple choice questionnaire. Don’t judge a book by its cover — read it to find out what it’s really like!

The book is a funny, quirky, and intersting read. Check it out if you want to find out more about Don: “The Rosie Project”, by Graeme Simsion.

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