The Psychological Reason You Hate Receiving Compliments

And how you can start genuinely believing them.

Zulie Rane
Psychobabbling

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Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

I have a real issue. When people say nice things about me, I don’t believe them.

Whether it’s how I look, an accomplishment I’ve recently achieved, an idea I had, or even just on cookies I baked, when people compliment me, I think they’re lying or trying to manipulate me somehow, or that they mean well but don’t recognize that what I’ve done is actually not that good. Like when your partner tells you you’re beautiful — they’re kind of obligated, so the meaning’s gone for you.

So when someone says to me, “Wow, your dress looks amazing today!” I deflect. I’ll say, “Oh thanks — I don’t know, I guess I like it. I can ride my bike in it, which is the important thing!”

Cue the classic: “Thanks, it has pockets!”

This might sound familiar to some of you — the ability to overlook fifty positive comments in favor of the one negative one that someone said to you, once, ten years ago.

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