6 Ways To Accept Yourself
Most self-help articles, motivational speakers, and literature on healing have one technique in common — Accept yourself. It is a mantra repeated to us in different ways as solutions to self-improvement.
Accepting and loving the self can indeed go a long way in improving our self-concept and boosting our overall confidence. However, accepting oneself is an abstract concept; we may not always be able to do so in every situation we face.
Here are some tips to help you practice self-acceptance:
1. Become more aware of yourself
Notice the times when you feel negative — angry, inadequate, insecure, incapable, and uncomfortable about yourself. Pay attention to your thought process at that moment.
‘I’m useless’, ‘I’m weak’, ‘I am too fat’, ‘Can’t even do this little task right’, ‘I always mess up’.
This is your inner critic which is always speaking up and putting you down.
2. Affirmations
Thoughts are powerful. Constant repetition of thoughts makes us believe in something, which in turn leads to manifestation. Negative self-talk perpetrated by the inner critic manifests as scenarios that reinforce feelings of incompetence.
Affirmations are sentences that have a positive effect on the brain when repeated daily. How can you do affirmations?
a. Write it regularly in a diary.
b. Read them before going to bed or right after waking up at least 5 times.
c. Say them with conviction
Examples of affirmations are –
a. I am confident and courageous.
b. I am enough. I am worthy
c. I believe in myself.
d. I am filled with love and gratitude.
3. Consciously forgive
Forgiving the past and yourself is another important step towards self-acceptance.
By forgiving, you are simply letting go of the anger, resentment, and vengefulness towards yourself or others who have wronged you. You are not excusing the wrongdoing. You are only releasing the burden of the negative emotions to feel lighter and freer.
4. Stop comparing yourself with others
Everyone has their unique checklist of milestones and achievements which they check off when the time is right.
The time isn’t right at the same time for all, though there may be similarities in terms of age and generation.
Comparing yourself with others always leads to disappointment, lower self-esteem, or overconfidence.
If taken on the right note, comparing with successful others can boost your motivation and goal-oriented behaviour.
5. Surround yourself with meaningful relationships
Your social environment contributes greatly to your self-concept. What significant others think of you and how they behave with you also shapes your inner critic. Friendships and relationships that make you feel bad about yourself, and people who tell you that you are no good, are the kind you have to distance yourself from.
Instead, interact more with people who are happy to see you happy, help you when you are down without wanting anything in return, and bring out the good side of you, even if it is for a limited time.
6. Change expectations of yourself
Striving for perfection can prove to be very exhausting. You then will get back into negative self-talk if you are not able to reach your goals.
Sometimes, it is okay to take a break and allow sharing of the work.
It is okay to set lower, reachable goals. You will definitely feel better in achieving smaller/short-term goals than pursuing a back-breaking, long-term goal.
These are just a few, brief techniques for accepting yourself. There are many more. Let me know of any others that have helped you.
