Break Up | Psychology

3 Early Signs She’s About to Break Up

Clues That Indicate Your Girlfriend Is Ready to Break Up

Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified
8 min readMay 14, 2024


3 Early Signs She’s About to Break Up-by “Som Dutt” on Medium
Credit: Photo by Liza Summer:

We all think that breakups are just a partner’s decision to start living with someone’s else or alone. Some people think that breakups happen when we make certain preferences over our partner and relationship.

We think that when we start focusing on our careers, we have to do some sacrifices. We also think that when our thoughts stop alighting with our partner’s thoughts, it’s the perfect time to say “Goodbye”.

These are just minor early signs and they can be fixed with certain changes in behavior and after clearing each other doubts. But there are some major stuff that are going on in her mind that you are unaware of.

“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
― Haruki Murakami,
South of the Border, West of the Sun

She will start doing things that will make you curious like “What the F$ck is going on in her life?”. But you will not have any answers to any of them.

You can think that she is just behaving weirdly and she will back to normal after some time because you are doing nothing wrong in your relationship.

Just before, she is about to officially announce the breakup she is just trying to invent some solid reasons so that she can verbally state those reasons in her defense to you.

She will start pursuing emotional detachment from you without letting you know that. She is just trying to find comfort, and peace and preparing to take off herself for a new journey.

We often think that this was just a one-instant decision but what we do not know is that she has already decided to break up with you in her mind a few days back.

She will start looking to find a source of emotional support and companionship that she sought from you. She will actually be trying to find a better replacement of you in her life.

In her psychological state, she is constantly in touch with you yet preparing herself psychologically to move on. When the relationship is about to fall apart it lurks like a silent decline with unspoken words.

“How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil

Women are emotionally strong as compared to men. Therefore, men take lots of time to understand and accept the breakup. Men generally have fewer options to choose from and go with another woman. Therefore, the heartbreak feels very bad to him.

If you get well-prepared before its announcement you can safeguard yourself from stressful conditions, anxiety, depression, and trauma that come with the breakup. If are you lucky you can get a few chances to fix and spice things up.

You can stop your fading romance and intimacy and psychologically prepare yourself and make yourself strong enough so that the loss of your girlfriend will not bother you much.

1. She Will Suddenly Start Talking With Her Ex Boyfriend Or New Guy

When she is about to start thinking about breaking up with you, before declaring everything officially she needs solid support or an option to lean on.

In that case, she will start looking for a male companion. If your girlfriend is overly communicating with a new male, it is an early sign that she may be planning to have a breakup with you.

She can also start talking with her ex-boyfriend. She can start complaining about you with them. She can say to them that now she is not happy with you. She can also start comparing yourself with her ex-boyfriend and new guy. She can say that now we are not very connected.

“I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT…Goodbye.”
― Steve Maraboli,
Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

She is actually trying her best to emotionally detach herself from you and to align her feelings with someone else. She is just exploring the new bonds outside the current bond.

But she will never disclose such things with you openly because she needs some time to mentally prepare herself for breakups and arguments. She is just waiting for the perfect moment.

Now she is getting that adrenaline rush and dopamine release from another man that she used to get from you.

2. She Will Suddenly Become Insecure About Her Future With You

There comes a time when she will start complaining to you about many things. She will start inventing ways of nitpicking and finding fault in you.

In the beginning, she has shown complete faith in your career, dreams, passions, and future, but now she starts thinking that her future is not secure and stable with you.

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson,
The Infinity Sign

She will start doubting your capabilities. This all happens very suddenly, she will suddenly start disliking your nature at all.

These all activities and choices express her pessimism in the relationship and a bigger part of her psychological deep manifestations that cannot be seen through the naked eye.

When she is uncertain and uninterested in your future she will eventually start detaching and disengage with you and start protecting herself from the suffering of the future breakup.

If you want to save your relationship then you have to identify this early sign as early as possible so that you can have a quality discussion with her and make her believe in your future with her.

“I felt her absence. it was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. you wouldn’t need to run to the mirror to know they were gone”
― James Dashner,
The Scorch Trials

3. She Will Suddenly Start Doing All Those Things That You Dislike

When the love is about to dissipate, it starts showing you some red flags. If your girlfriends stop giving importance to your words, if she starts showing little or more disrespect to you then you have to understand that something bad can happen in the relationship in the near future.

She will suddenly start to engage in some activities or hobbies that she previously agreed to avoid. She may start meeting her old female or male friends and suddenly start smoking, drinking, or doing other drugs with her friends.

“Isn’t it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle — it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It’s not an act of bitterness. It’s an act if self-preservation. It’s not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?”
― Allyson Braithwaite Condie,
First Day

She may start coming late from the office. She may start planning for vacations without discussing with you. She may start not responding to your calls and texts on time.

She knows that you will disapprove of these activities which is why she may start hiding and lying to you. It’s just her simple way of distancing herself from the relationship and now she will start claiming freedom and personal space.

All these behaviors are just her first step toward officially declaring a breakup.

“To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person’s opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.”
― Jocelyn Soriano,
Mend My Broken Heart

Final Thoughts

These early signs are just based on prediction, probabilities, personal experiences, and previous human knowledge research. They cannot be all certain. There are many chances that your girlfriend can change her mind and she is doing this just to make you feel jealous.

But one thing is for sure and that is you should never take such signs lightly. If you believe that you are truly in love with her, it’s your responsibility to fix things before they become worse and beyond repair.

If things are not going great in between you, try your best to bring back the lost intimacy.

But always remember:

“You are not always responsible for your women’s unhappiness”
-Som Dutt

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Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified

Top writer in Philosophy & Psychology Since 2021. I make people Think, Relate, Feel & Move. For My Detailed Long Essays visit —