Breakups | Psychology

3 Real Reasons Why Men Stay With Women They Hate

What Makes Men Stick Around When They Can’t Stand Her?

Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified
5 min readMay 12, 2024


3 Real Reasons Why Men Stay With Women They Hate-by “Som Dutt” on Medium
Credit: Photo by Keira Burton:

When you are in a relationship, you must have experienced that sometimes, the love and intimacy are gone but still both of you are just stretching it.

Sometimes, 1 partner is doing all the wrong things with you like dating someone else, telling a lie, breaking promises, and giving you silent treatment. But you are unwilling to take any action even though the feeling of breakup is killing you from the inside.

When we fall in love with someone we are just submitting our care, affection, and feelings to them. It all starts with a love bombing, where both of us want to give our best. But when time passes, one partner starts dominating the relationship, he/she takes full control over the power dynamics.

“When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, “What was it that you wanted and why didn’t you fight for it?”
― Shannon L. Alder

And with power, there are huge chances of corruption. People are famous for misusing the power. The other person does not think much because he/she does not care about the power and just enjoys the belongingness our the relationship.

In some cases, when the woman starts doing everything that her partner does not like or entertain, there comes a time when the man starts feeling that his woman’s love is gone for him and now he has to move on and he should break up with her.

In reality, even after so many red flags, there are lots of men who do not initiate the breaks, because they love their woman so much, but still there are other important reasons that restrict them from breaking up.

Men are usually less emotional and they easily do not want a breakup from their unhappy relationship. But there are main 3 solid real reasons backed by psychological and sociological research that we will discuss in this blog.

1. Some Men See Relationship As Long-Term Commitment

Some men are the “man of their word”, and they have given their words and commitment to the women. Most men view relationships, marriages, and love as a long-term commitment. They do not expect much from the relationship, if they are getting good sex, someone who talks with them politely and takes care of his children, etc. is sufficient for holding up the man in the relationship.

But on the other hand, some woman has so many expectations from a relationship. She has a huge list of checkboxes and her man has to tick most of them. With the rise of social media, most girls are expecting luxury vacations, fancy dates, and new clothes every month.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”
― C. JoyBell C.

In short, social media apps offer unrealistic dreams to women and they start thinking that their man should fulfill most of them.

Some men have invested so much into the relationship and now they do not want to leave and want to carry on their unhappy relationship. Investments such as their emotions, finances, time, etc.

Some of them have recently purchased new houses, or cars and taken loans for that and now they are just focusing on returning the loan’s EMI and do not want any instability in life.

Some of them have social pressure, some have children and their lives have now become dependent on women.

Some men perceive relationships as an obligation or duty to stay even if their woman starts abusing them, behaving weirdly and disrespecting them they still choose to stay.

Photo by nic chi on Unsplash

2. Some Men Are Optimists And Have Hopes For Change

Some Men are too optimistic about their relationships and have huge hopes that women will change over time. Some of them have become habitual of their woman’s bad behavior and now they have accepted her as who she is.

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
― Shannon L. Alder

They hope that things will become better after some time and the unhappiness will be over. Some men love and care so much that if they have initiated a divorce in marriage and a breakup in the relationship that will hurt their woman and that can cause her trauma and that will be difficult for her to handle.

“Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.”
― Taylor Jenkins Reid,
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Some men believe that if they put in extra effort and improve their communications then they can bring the excitement back into the relationship.

Photo by Drew Hays on Unsplash

3. Avoidance of Conflict

Some men have their primary focus on their career, building wealth and they do not want to lose their focus and they do everything to avoid any conflicts and arguments.

“What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.”
― Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty

Some men have low self esteem and dignity. They are insecure and fearful of the trauma, loneliness, and emotional turmoil they will face after the confrontation of breakup or divorce. Most men are very bad at managing their negative emotions therefore they find arguments and conflicts on important topics very stressful.

Social repercussions and guilt also play a major role in why men choose to stay with the woman they hate. Government laws in every country favor women. Most men love their hard-earned money and they do not want it to be divided.

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
― Shannon L. Alder

They do not want to give alimony therefore, they just avoid such situations where they have to visit court and lose their money and reputation among their family members.

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Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified

Top writer in Philosophy & Psychology Since 2021. I make people Think, Relate, Feel & Move. For My Detailed Long Essays visit —