Trauma| Psychology
3 Unusual Signs You May Have Unprocessed Trauma
Feeling Stuck? Ignored Pain or Trapped Emotions? Find Out if It’s Unprocessed Trauma
Have you ever experienced that you are consistently feeling minor chronic pain on your forehead that you have been ignoring for a long time?
Have you ever felt that you have got stuck in your relationship, and career where you are not getting enough motivation for moving forward?
You may feel certain strong emotions in your psyche but are not finding ways to express them because these emotions are very negative about you and others.
Feeling or constant avoidance, hyperarousal, negative self-perception, distorted perception of the perpetrator and distorted perception of reality can be one of the major signs of unprocessed trauma that is deeply rooted in your psyche.
“Distraction serves evil more than any other mental state.”
― Stefan Molyneux
Unprocessed trauma is our hidden beast or ghost that erodes our confidence and self-esteem silently which we always fail to recognize because we get too busy in our daily lives.
It keeps haunting us with its nightmares, flashbacks, and pain of past experiences. If you try to ignore these uncommon signs then you will never be able to understand your painful past experiences fully and it will keep haunting you with more intensity.
It will make you feel like a prisoner with persistent pain and stress that can lead to dissatisfaction and discomfort in life. Most of these signs are not easily experienced in life, because they are very unusual but if you dig deep into your life, you will understand that things are happening repeatedly and making certain patterns, Understanding these signs will be very helpful in your life so that you can form a healthy career and relationship in life.
1. You Are Facing Challenges In Building Healthy Relationships
If you always fail to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner it can be due to your unprocessed trauma. Unprocessed trauma is always associated with past bad experiences and those experiences can make it difficult for you to trust your partner, and you will be unable to express your emotions fully.
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss
You may be constantly living in fear of judgment by your partner. You may also feel insecure that your partner can hurt you because you have been hurt in your past too.
That link to your experience creates strong biases and prejudices in your mind. And you will start living in an illusionary reality where you will always think about your bad experiences before making a new move in your relationship.
As a result, you will end up spending more time alone and you will never be able to engage in healthy discussions. That fear can ruin your chemistry and relationship dynamic.
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
― Fred Rogers
All these factors will constantly restrict you from living in the present, enjoying the moments, and going with the flow in the relationship.
2. You Are Feeling Intrusive And Negative Thoughts Most Of The Time
If your mind gets persistent encounters with negative and intrusive thoughts that can be an unusual sign of unprocessed trauma. After each negative thought, you may start imagining intense fear or extremely bad experiences that can happen in the future.
Such thoughts can easily trigger anxiety, and stress and can lead to depression. Negative thoughts can be transformed into nightmares and flashbacks. Such negative thoughts can initiate the feelings of hopelessness, despair, regret, guilt, shame, and worthlessness, and disturb your perception of reality.
“I’d thought once, actually, of taking your mind, if you asked. I’d thought I could help you fall asleep at night.”
He opened his mouth to say something. Shut it again. His face closed for a moment, his unreadable mask falling into place. He spoke softly. “But that wouldn’t be fair; for after I slept you’d be left awake, with no one to help you sleep.”
― Kristin Cashore, Fire
You automatically start feeling low all day. If things go bad you should consider professional help. You have to also understand that these thoughts are not your real world.
These are just creating false reality in your mind. The probability of the occurrence of these negative events is very low.
This is how I have dealt with my recent unprocessed traumatic episode. I have become extremely negative about my future. Then I gave assurance to myself that these were just negative thoughts and had nothing to do with reality.
All those negative events and consequences that I am imagining in the future are most likely not going to happen.
3. Most Of The Time You Feel Dissociated From Your Partner, Family Members, And Loved Ones
Living in a constant state of loss of mind is one of the unusual signs of unprocessed trauma. Dissociation can be easily felt when you start losing interest in things that you have loved once.
“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
― Oprah Winfrey
You will not feel joy in doing your old artistic activities. Physically you will be present in parties, clubs, and cafes but your mind will be consistently thinking about traumatic experiences.
You will feel like you are not actively engaging with life, you are just observing from the outside, and your soul is not present with you at all. You will start inventing excuses for not attending any group gathering or dinner with your family members and loved ones.
There will always be a big emptiness and long silence in your current state of mind. Your family members, relatives, and partners have to put extra effort into bringing you to the party and group gathering.
“The feeling that she had never really lived in this world caught her by surprise. It was a fact. She had never lived. Even as a child, as far back as she could remember, she had done nothing but endure. She had believed in her own inherent goodness, her humanity, and lived accordingly, never causing anyone harm. Her devotion to doing things the right way had been unflagging, all her successes had depended on it, and she would have gone on like that indefinitely. She didn’t understand why, but faced with those decaying buildings and straggling grasses, she was nothing but a child who had never lived.”
― Han Kang, The Vegetarian
Sometimes they can ask you “What is going on in your life?”, “Is everything ok?”
This feeling of numbness is unexplainable when you are the victim of unprocessed trauma at that moment. Your weirdness can lead to several misunderstandings between you and your loved ones.
Therefore, whenever you feel such emotions and unusual symptoms it’s your duty to not ignore them. These are your real thoughts asking you to fix them.
It is true that unprocessed trauma can be very difficult to ignore, heal, and fix but you can try your best to minimize such triggers that cause you to rethink past bad experiences. If you start understanding these signs you will be able to learn how to manage them well.
“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
― Elie Wiesel
In this way, instead of blaming external factors, you will start working on your understanding and healing your inner chaos.
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