Narcissist | Mental Health

7 Subtle Signs of a Female Narcissist

Signs of Narcissism That Are Easy to Miss

Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified
7 min readMay 29, 2024

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7  Subtle Signs of a Female Narcissist-by “Som Dutt” on Medium https://medium.com/@somdutt777
Credit: Photo by Nadin Sh: https://www.pexels.com/photo/selective-focus-of-woman-fixing-hair-20329530/

The rise of social media and the internet has given wings to the hidden narcissism in many women. This rising trend is interesting and concerning at the same time.

Many types of research have established a link between increased social media like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok and narcissistic tendencies among women.

Where women are ready to show their cleavage and other body parts for likes and engagements, many women create drama for self-promotion.

Women are everywhere in ads, reels, and any other visual content. This desire to seek attention, approval, validation, and admiration stems from Narcissism.

“Half of the people lie with their lips; the other half with their tears”
― Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Many women try to create an idealized version of celebrities and themselves. They do plastic surgeries, cosmetic surgery, Botox injections, fillers, laser treatment, Micro-needling, and chemical peels to look young and beautiful. They use many Instagram and Snapchat filters and huge makeup to hide their imperfection.

This rise of a culture that only focuses on building fake self-image and personal branding has manifested narcissism among women at a higher level.

Therefore, in this post, we will try to explain to you the 7 subtle signs of a female narcissist that will help you to understand their deceptive and manipulative nature.

“Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They’re emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God’s creations because they don’t show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.”
― Shannon L. Alder

1: Excessive Concern with Appearances

A female Narcissist always wants to look perfect in front of others. She wants to become the center of attraction. She wants to stand out that is why she spends a lot of time on her looks.

“Narcissists will never tell you the truth. They live with the fear of abandonment and can’t deal with facing their own shame. Therefore, they will twist the truth, downplay their behavior, blame others and say what ever it takes to remain the victim. They are master manipulators and conartists that don’t believe you are smart enough to figure out the depth of their disloyalty. Their needs will always be more important than telling you any truth that isn’t in their favor..”
― Shannon L. Alder

Her Instagram and other social media platforms are full of carefully curated pictures and videos. She has an inherent fear of looking bad. She likes to show things from popular brands.

She attends big events just to be seen in them because she does not go there to enjoy them. She only makes good friends and judges others by their looks and physical appearance.

2: Fishing for Compliments

She always asks her friends and loved ones about her looks. Her questions are like:

“Am I looking fat in this dress?”

Is this dress looking good on me?

She also downplays her looks and appears to hear compliments from others. Like she will say, I am not looking good today, and expect others to disagree with her.

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

“Often the narcissist believes that other people are “faking it”, leveraging emotional displays to achieve a goal. He is convinced that their ostensible “feelings” are grounded in ulterior, non-emotional motives. Faced with other people’s genuine emotions, the narcissist becomes suspicious and embarrassed. He feels compelled to avoid emotion-tinged situations, or worse, experiences surges of almost uncontrollable aggression in the presence of expressed sentiments. They remind him how imperfect he is and how poorly equipped.”
― Sam Vaknin

She keeps repeating her stories with you where she got compliments from others in public. She often posts pictures on social media to seek validation, likes, and praise. She often compares herself with fitness models and celebrities.

3: Envy and Competitiveness

If she sees any other girl in competition with her beauty and looks she starts feeling jealous. She will never praise other females about their looks.

“You will never get the truth out of a Narcissist. The closest you will ever come is a story that either makes them the victim or the hero, but never the villain.”
― shannon l. alder

She hates it when someone else becomes the center of attraction at the party, group, or event. She often compares her looks with others and tries her best to look better than others.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

She often purchases the best and newest things to enhance her beauty and status. She gets threatened by other females’ success. She usually uses others to become successful. She always looks for some shortcut to becoming rich.

4: Exploitative Relationships

A female Narcissist tries to exploit others for their personal use and success. She uses others as a ladder. She is very selfish. That is why she does not care about the effect of her actions on others.

“Pathological narcissists can lose touch with reality in subtle ways that become extremely dangerous over time. When they can’t let go of their need to be admired or recognized, they have to bend or invent a reality in which they remain special despite all messages to the contrary.”
― Bandy X Lee

She expects others to do her part of the work. She also expects others to pay her bills. If she helps others, she expects some favor in return. She uses different manipulative tactics to get her way.

She is very selective in making male friends and boyfriends. She only chooses those males in her group circles from whom she can get some financial and other favors in return.

She immediately blocks and unfriends people who are useless anymore to her. She is an expert in hiding and lying and uses these skills to get ahead.

5: The Victim Mentality

A female Narcissist tries to blame others for any bad things that happen to her. She avoids taking responsibility for her actions. She tries to play the victim and others think they have hurt her.

“No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.”
― Abhijit Naskar

She always talks about her sad stories to others. She craves attention for someone to fix her problems. She tries her best to make others feel guilty and regretful for not helping her.

Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash

She can invent some stories by stating that she has the worst luck. People always treat her unfairly. Whenever something bad happens to her, she always ensures everyone knows about her situation. She uses her bad situations to gain sympathy from others.

“Some people, in an attempt to mask their shortcomings dig lies so deep, they end up drowning in a sea of their own delusions!”
― Carlos Wallace

6: Emotional Withdrawal as Punishment

A female Narcissist always uses emotional withdrawal as a form of punishment in the relationship. When she becomes mad at you, she tries to ignore you, she will stop talking to you to make you feel bad.

She will try to hide her real intentions and feelings. She can ghost you and give you the silent treatment. She can become less friendly and warm.

“So many abusers survivors feel they were loved so little, as if the abuser was the most important person to receive love from. They forget that God loves them deeply and that is the only person’s love they need to validate their worth.”
― Shannon L. Alder

She tries to hold her grudges in the best way possible. She will make you say sorry first. She tries her best to make you guess why they are upset with you.

7: Need for Control in Relationships

A female Narcissist tries to control the power dynamics in the relationship. She tries to make all the big decisions in the relationship.

She expects you to agree with her all decisions. She tries to keep and stalk your online and offline presence. She will suggest how to talk, dress up and behave.

“Someone asked me, “Who hurt you so badly?” I replied, “my own expectations.”

She will try to manipulate you to fight with your friends so that you become completely dependent on her for emotional support. She tries to limit your outgoing activities.

She will become mad at you when you plan any trip without discussing it with her.

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Som Dutt ☯
Psychology Simplified

Top writer in Philosophy & Psychology Since 2021. I make people Think, Relate, Feel & Move. For My Detailed Long Essays visit — https://embraceinnerchaos.com