Nice Things to Give & Say
Care Packages and Greeting Cards
Your friend or loved one is struggling with mental illness. They may or may not be in the hospital. You’d like to show them you care, that you’re thinking about them, but you don’t know what to give. A care package and/or a greeting card may be a great option. But, most people don’t know what to give or what to say. That’s why too few people with mental illness receive gifts or cards when they’re ill and these can make a difference. We’ve tried to make it easy for you to do so here. Based on over 15 years of living with mental illness these are the types of gifts and messages that made me feel just a little bit better when I was ill. I hope they may help your friends or loved ones too.
Care Packages
Greeting Cards are a wonderful thoughtful gift. Appropriate care packages can also be very impactful. Based on our own hospital experiences, here are some suggested items 1. Socks with grip bottom (we like GripCity Socks); 2. Composition books; 3. Notepads; 4. Inspirational journals (we love Knock Knock’s: I am strong than journal, affirmators journal, I’m doing my best journal, It’s Gonna Be Okay journal 1 and 2 and gratitude journals; 5. stress balls; 6. squeezable plastic water bottles; 7. mini toiletries; 8. pouches to hold their stuff (we like Blue Q); 9. sugar free junk food (no lollipops); 10. mini plants in plastic phase; 11. if they have a music player, soothing music such as nature sounds, and 12. books (easy to read).
Greeting Cards
- Your Own Message
We highly recommend that you buy a blank card (with an image of flowers, nature, animals, not too humorous etc.) and write your own message in it. The best message to write in a greeting card for someone you care about with mental illness is a personalized message of support, encouragement, hope, or optimism — “I will listen”, “I love you”, “thank you for working so hard to get better”, “we’ll always be here for”, “we’re here for you”, “we know things are hard for your now but you can get better”, “we need you”, “you are brave”, “you are strong”, “you are not alone”, “you can get better”, “you can overcome this”. There are so many “right” things to say. Be very sensitive, don’t judge, don’t tell them what to do. It can be expressed as “I” or “we”. A simple, short message can be powerful. You can decorate the inside of the card with “xo”s or “cute” stickers.
2. Your Own Message in a Handmade Card Made by You
We encourage you to make your own card alone or as part of a group activity e.g. a “card making party”. Some great materials for making cards, include:
Colored construction paper, multi-printed card stock, scrapbooking paper, vintage paper, foam paper, fabric, lace, stickers, decorative stamps, stamp pads, molding clay, markers, metallic markers, glitter sticks, pencils, coloring pencils, paint, pens, glue, glue stick, printed quotes or poems — pre-printed or printed on vellum paper, basically, anything you think will help people decorate cards.
3. Our ForLikeMinds Cards
Have a look at the messages in our ForLikeMinds Card Line. They were written by us based on our experiences living with mental illness. Our top 6 designs (listed first) have reached nearly 500,000 people on Facebook. We know people with mental illness want to hear our messages. Our objective was to offer hope and encouragement and to let people know that they are not alone and feel part of a community of great courage and strength.
4. Store-Bought Cards
These can be good and bad depending on the message.
Good: 1. encouragement cards — as long as you’re encouraging something that can be realistically achieved and not setting unreasonably high expectations. If you’re loved one doesn’t meet these, they may feel pressured and as if they’re disappointing you • 2. get well soon cards — as long as you recognize that it may take a while to get better as it does for mental illness • 3. I miss you cards — as long as you’ve been showing it and not just saying it. You want avoid hearing back “if you miss me so much, why don’t you visit me” • 4. I’m thinking about you cards — as long as you’ve been displaying as well, for example, by calling • thank you cards — for example, “thank for you being so strong, working so hard” • humor — it’s always good to try to make someone smile, but it’s nicest if the card has a simple message and maybe a “cute” animal or character • special occasion — if you’re not able to be with your loved one on a special occasion, it can be nice to send them a card. If you do send one make sure to say strongly that you wish you could be with them.
Bad: 1. Mental illness related cards — there are not many mental illness store-bought cards that are specific to mental illness, but some have recently popped up — many of these convey stereotypical messages • other illness specific cards — sometimes good sometimes bad • tomorrow will be better — tomorrow is often not better for someone with mental illness, recovery can be a long process • gratitude — nearly always bad if you are telling your loved that if only they had gratitude, they would feel better. People with mental illness are grateful for what they have, but their mental illness often robs them of the ability of showing it • too cheery — mental illness can rob you of the ability to feel emotions, especially happiness. A cheery card may remind people of this and make them sad.
5. When you don’t know what to write
The right quotes and poems may provide a good message. There are many places to find them online. These are some of our favorite sources:
Best Source of Quotes — Goodreads
Subjects: Hopeful • Inspirational • Dream • Change • Journey • Recovery • Fear • Struggle
Other sources of quotes: Inspiration • Success • Various • Wisdom • Google quotes — click on images. You’ll see many.
Best Source of Poems: Poetry Foundation
Suggestion: find a poem you like, cut and paste it from the page into a word doc, print it onto a sheet of paper (vellum paper is great), cut it into the size of the inside of the card and glue it to the card.
Other sources of poems: Dale Carnegie • Hard life • Inspiring • Life 1 • Life 2 • Rumi • Struggle • Toni Morrison • Google: poems about life, click on images
Faith based messages — If you don’t know the faith of the card recipient it is best not to include a faith based message.
6. Suggestions From Our ForLikeMinds Facebook Community
Please show your support for the work of our ForLikeMinds community by making a contribution to our Psych Ward Greeting Cards program. Thank you.
Don Anderson: You’re a survivor, you’re still standing, you’re not beaten yet and you never will be.
Charlie Blakeborough: Dear anxiety…fuck off and take depression with you.
Steven Bolt: The Sun is always shining above the clouds!
Julie Bradbury: I pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt & seeing the good in everyone but yourself. You deserve more.
Penny Clark: I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but I know it WILL get better.
Marlys Mary Collins: You’re the best you there is, even at you’re lowest point.
Lisa Davis: I’m here for you.
Claudia Devita: You own everything you need to make YOU great! / You are not alone.
James Green: Loved then. We are not throwaways.
Julie Harris-Fain: Mama said there would be days like there. Mama said. Hang in there with your doctors, therapist, and medicine. You can recovery.
Jaymie Falkenhan: You matter. You’re worth it. Find your rainbow. / Move forward with your head held high! You’ve got this.
Amy Farley: You are worth fighting for. You are worth believing in.
Maureen Fitzmaurice: This too shall pass.
Teresa Hatley: Sending sunny thoughts. Warm wishes. / Sending big bear hugs. / May God, the universe, your higher power bring you abundant joy and peace. / Wishing you enough strength to sustain one day, one hour. / Girl, if you can brush your teeth, you did something! / Today, may you play, dance and sing; for in lies everything.
Mike Hellmann: I know you are not feeling well now, but hang in there, some days may be dark, but the sun will shine again tomorrow! It will! And you may learn some tricks to help you even tolerate the rain better! The world is a better place with you in it!
Frances-Hernandez-Soo: You’re never alone. We’re in this together.
Julie Kates Holbrook: There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Be gentle with yourself. Remember depression lies to us.
Eriq Henri Madsen: If you think you’re alone, not enough, or beyond help. You’re wrong. You’re perfect in every way.
Lana Maureen: Sometimes you have to fight through your worst days to earn the best days of your life.
Amy Nichole: I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.
Robin Palmer: Hang in there you will be happy and well again. / Life is worth living, so learn to love yourself. / Be kind to yourself. / You will get through this.
Neil Primeau: Please know that just wanting to get better is noble.
Carlos Reuff: Anxiety is also a lier.
Rakia CP Richardson: I can promise you that the sun will rise tomorrow. Your only job is to be here for it. / You will find your way back…until then Just Be Right Here and Breathe.
Linda Rouse: When trial or tribulation comes look for the helpers (Mrs. Rogers) / You have a purpose remember that — there will never be another you!!! You are unique! / You are kind. You are smart. You are important! / The sunrise conquers the darkest night. /. A rock thrown into a pond ripples outwards — so will your kind deeds have purpose. / Action conquers fear. / Hey You! Today might be a hard day, but just remember you have survived all the hard days before and you can survive today too.
Susan Showers: You are the only you there ever way or will be. You are special! The world needs you.
Shirley Soliz: Every day is a new day. / Each day at a time. / This day is going to be a good day.
Samantha Tracewell. You are loved! / You are not alone. / Inhale courage, exhale fear. / You are stronger than you think.
Lori Croft Warner: Smile because God always will Love You. You’re Never Alone.
