Helping Someone Who Self-Harms

Self-harm is something that is so incredibly difficult to understand, which makes it equally as difficult to provide support for someone who does. This month, we are raising awareness for self-harm because, it is unfortunately more common than we would like to think. Here are four ways to support someone you love:

1. Avoid judgement

You may not understand why your loved one has harmed themselves, but you don’t have to. Most people who self-harm do so because they cannot control or understand what is going on with their emotions. Self-harm is a physical manifestation of an internal feeling. ‘

2. Listen

This is so important. You just have to listen. It is not about giving advice all the time, but to listen to your loved them and listen to what they want. The best way you can support them is understanding what they need from you. Sometimes we need space to process alone and other times we may need to talk out our emotions. Listen properly to what someone has to say and not what you want to hear. It is not about you.

3. Focus on the root of the problem and not the action

Self-harm is as a result of a deeply rooted problem and it is not the problem itself. So whilst hiding razors and blades from the person seems helpful it is largely unproductive. Healing is a slow process. You should try to find out the different resources available to them.

4. Educate yourself

Google is your friend. Do not depend on someone who is self-harming to learn about what self-harm is and why people do it. Take the initiative to learn about it yourself. The best way to support someone is to go into it with some form of understanding, but also remember you will not ever truly understand why someone chooses to self-harm because it is an individual experience.

Remember that the road to healing is a long one, and your support can mean the world of a difference. It is not easy and these are not easy suggestions either, but it becomes easier when a system of support is created beyond just you.

Continue this conversation with us on our online support network — where you’re free to ask questions, share stories and provide insight to others who may be facing similar challenges.

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