Nigerians really don’t understand disordered eating.

Well maybe they do, but we’ve heard this statement too often:

“Ahn, Toke!! Come, come — you’ve added o! It’s either you’re enjoying or you’re pregnant. Which one?”

Imagine hearing this before tucking into a plate of party Jollof and chicken. This statement is not only unnecessary, it’s blatantly insensitive.

Nigerians, must we comment on the weight of others in such a manner? The ignorance in such statements is enough to cause those on the receiving end to excessively diet or binge eat.

Yes, excessive eating is a serious thing, one that’s not spoken about enough. When people think of eating disorders, they often imagine an extremely skinny person who refuses to eat — sunken cheeks, protruding bones & thinning hair. But what about the lovely plus-sized man sitting beside you on the train? Are you likely to assume he only eats cheeseburgers or that he too, may have an eating disorder?

Truth be told, eating disorders creep up on you. One weekend you may jejely choose to hop on the #fitfam train, consuming only Moin-Moin with Efo instead of rice (let’s face it, everyday everyday, there’s rice at home and at this rate, we should surely all be fed up). The next, you’re making larger restrictions like drinking only smoothies throughout the day or even skipping meals etc. Someone else may form fittest of all at a wedding or outing, only to get home, raid the fridge (because privacy of their own home) and unleash the beast that is binging.

Both scenarios demonstrate that eating disorders are exactly that: Disordered Eating. When one’s weight becomes their prime focus in life — fixating on calories, fat, exercise and weight — so much so that it hinders their quality of life (key point), they are considered to have an eating disorder of some sort. I say some sort because like most mental health disorders, this too can be found on a spectrum.

Choosing to pay attention to your diet or exercise 5–6 times a week does not mean you have an eating disorder. We all have those moments where we try to attain a certain look for a vacation, birthday weekend, or life in general (let’s be real here) but remember that the cultural ideals of beauty vary.

One moment, you’re in Obodo Oyinbo receiving compliments for being slim and toned, next you’re in Lagos having to answer 101 questions from an aunty (who carried you when you were a baby FYI) about why your collar bones are visible.

You are you and that will always be beautiful/handsome (men, body image issues do not pertain to the ladies only o!). Make sure you remain self-aware and are able to recognize when those fleeting moments of poor body image become regular and last a smidge longer than usual for these are the important signs of a much deeper issue. No one is immune to eating disorders as mental health is no respecter of persons.

Lastly, for those who fat- & skinny-shame, it’s not cool (you probably wear boot cut jeans -_-). The stigma and discrimination that comes with it often force people to suffer in silence. For those dealing with an eating disorder or feel like you’re heading down that path, please seek help from a friend, close relative, general practitioner, or #GetPsyndup! (shameless plug). You do not and should not have to suffer in silence.

P.S. Here’s some information on Eating Disorders because awareness makes the world go round and that’s what PsyndUp is all about.