5 Books on Self-Love When You’re Not in Love With Anyone
Have you got a date lined up for Valentine’s Day? If you don’t, perhaps you’ve just been reminded of your singlehood. But don’t resign yourself to a dating app just yet, because there’s hope for all of us: even the ones who’d prefer to be cosied up to a good book.
For Valentine’s Day, these books show why it’s okay not to be in love with anyone. Instead, take the time to get to know yourself and love what makes you you!
1. Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata
Looking for a lighthearted read? Try Convenience Store Woman by best-selling Japanese author Sayaka Murata. The book’s main protagonist is Keiko Furukura, a 36-year-old woman who works part-time at a convenience store and considers herself a social outcast. The reason? Furukawa is not afraid to reject what many of her peers seem to value: romantic relationships, and ultimately, marriage.
Pressured to conform to these expectations, Furukawa’s love affair with her job steadily intensifies. And comedy ensues. Convenience Store Woman ultimately suggests that self-love can translate to a passion: a hobby, a TV series, or even, what you do for work!
Get the book here: Physical Copy, Audiobook
2. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
You may have heard of Brené Brown, professor and podcast host famous for her TED Talk on the power of vulnerability. And while you may have been inspired to practice vulnerability in your interactions with your loved ones, have you read Brown’s books, which cover her points in more detail?
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown encourages you to let go of your fears regarding the opinions of others, in turn helping you understand that it’s okay not to be perfect (especially in relationships). If you’re in a thoughtful mood this Valentine’s Day, this book might help you find yourself again without getting lost in another.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
3. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Self-love isn’t just about projecting self-confidence. To feel comfortable in your own skin, it’s important to have a clear sense of who you are and what you want out of life. Enter The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, featuring a disgruntled teenager searching for companionship in a society populated by people who he feels do not understand him.
If you haven’t read this book yet (or fell asleep covering it in literature class!), now is the time to pick up this classic and know you’re not alone in your loneliness.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook
4. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty by Florence Given
Loving yourself can be hard when it feels like you don’t match up to the expectations of others. For instance, wanting to look pretty for somebody you’re interested in can feel overly important, especially in an image-conscious society.
In her debut book, Florence Given challenges this perspective with an incisive take on modern feminism: that women owe men nothing, not even beauty. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty is a memoir that every woman should read, and is accompanied by illustrations created by the author herself.
Get the book here: Physical Copy
5. Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
What happens when a young poet writes to a more experienced one, seeking advice? Letters to a Young Poet is a collection of ten letters exchanged between poet Rainer Maria Rilke and Franz Xaver Kappus, a young military cadet looking to pursue his artistic passions under the former’s tutelage.
A meditation on the importance of solitude, those looking to pick up a new hobby may find themselves enthralled by Rilke and Kappus’ honesty about how to lead a creative life.
Get the book here: Physical Copy, eBook, Audiobook
Now that you’ve become accustomed to the idea of spending some quality time alone, how will you spend Valentine’s Day this year?
As these books show, the best way to practice self-love is to get comfortable with yourself. Don’t forget to follow us on TikTok (@NLBsg) for more book recommendations via #BookTok:
